Posts Tagged ‘vampires

03
Jul
18

Replacement


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION *** 

Nosferatu has been replaced.  We have not been informed why, but my conjecture is that Columbine’s contaminated blood proved that he was not serving his people.

The first I knew was when Jane brought his replacement’s card in to my home.  This was the first time a New Vampire had come to my home, but since he was observing our social etiquette I could not refuse him.

Jane showed what appeared to be a bowler-hatted businessman into the room and left to arrange drinks.  No doubt she had made enquiries as to his preferences when showing him in.

After some small talk, I congratulated him on his new post, which opened the way for the business which brought him here.

It seems he wanted to “come to an understanding” about Columbine and find out what my interest in her was.

I freely admitted my fall from grace since this New Vampire is obviously no fool (unlike his predecessor) and would be wondering why I have no castle unlike my peers.

I then informed him that I was hoping Columbine would share some information that may have currency, or more likely, someone would have need of knowledge about New Vampires in the future.

He gave a small nod and informed me that while Columbine was free to have any visitors she chose, New Vampires would be taking back the delivery of blood to the New Vampires in the prison.

He passed the details of his associate who would be working there to me.  I have already met with Michelle and appraised her of the situation.  He also informed me that the perpetrator was theirs to deal with, as any perpetrator who contaminated Old Vampire blood supplies would be ours.

After that, he made his goodbyes and left.  I will carry on visiting Columbine as long as she will see me.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

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19
Jun
18

Columbine


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

Columbine has been in touch with me.  She is a New Vampire who is incarcerated in the prison where I used to work.

It will surprise new readers that I was even thinking of speaking to a New Vampire, but she needed company and I gained information about New Vampires from her.

It is a mark of how low I have fallen that I am associating with her in the hope of turning information into currency.

I received a letter from her, which was as badly written and spelt as I thought New Vampires would write.

The letter contained the accusation that Michelle, who has my old job at the prison, was withholding blood from her.

A simple telephone call to the prison reassured me that this was not so.  If Columbine had been an Old Vampire, this would have been a deliberate ploy to direct my attention to Michelle.

However, Michelle is not responsible for delivering blood nor spending time with New Vampires and my checks show she is performing her duties superbly.

I suspected that Columbine wished to talk to me privately and made a visit to the prison, where what I suspected turned out to be true.

One look at her showed her to be a shaking wreck of a vampire and I had to merely sniff her blood supply to know it had been contaminated.

I have called an emergency session of The Committee to deal with this; meanwhile I telephoned my servant Jane to deliver some of her blood supplies to Columbine as we cannot have a hallucinating vampire in the prison as they are a danger to everyone.

I also informed the prison security of this, properly cowing them into submission and leaving them shaking and swearing to find the perpetrator.  I doubt they will.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

05
Jun
18

Jane


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

My servant Jane is now out of sorts because of all the time we have recently spent living in castles.

She claims that the training she receives from other Old Vampire Servants is being disrupted.

In reality, the reason is that Jane simply does not like castles, which is why she is the only servant presiding over a semi-detached house instead of one amongst many in a castle.

I speculate that this dislike comes about in part because when she is in a castle she will be treated as a curiosity to be endured.

No other Old Vampire Servant is the sole servant in a home and Jane must fulfil all functions, which is why she continues to have so much training.

I have refused a request for an extra half day off, pointing out that she has centuries to complete her training and cannot absorb it all in one decade, no matter how fast she learns.

Indeed, all Old Vampire butlers have the attitude that perfection is something to be continually strived for and only while striving will one maintain that state.

I suspect the other reason why she dislikes castles is because she is not in control of what is going on.

I must spend some time at home in order to placate her, or goodness knows what will happen next.

An unhappy servant of any kind can wreak havoc with a well-run house, “forgetting” or “mislaying” objects and instructions.

Jane is a good servant and I am loath to annoy her without due cause, as it could cause her to seek employment elsewhere.

While it is not unusual for junior servants to change employers, it is less usual for senior servants and almost unheard of for butlers.

This will be the first time I have had to tiptoe around a servant as the butler normally sorts out all such matters.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

22
May
18

Reporting to The Ruler


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

Readers will have noticed that the frequency in my posts has been somewhat erratic of late.

This is because The Ruler has tasked me with reporting on the Debutante Vampires in Britain.

My readers may remember that it was a Debutante Vampire who killed prominent humans last year.

Before this, people were saying that standards of training had dropped.

I took little notice of this, as I have my own problems and also because it is a complaint I have heard every decade since I have been an Old Vampire.

It seems that this complaint, coupled with the results of the interviews The Ruler’s Men have had with The Human Killer, have spurred on our Ruler to act with unprecedented speed.

Because of this I have been recently tasked with a new duty: to make an inspection of the Debutantes we have.

A list of the few we have is supplied to me by the Status Keeper and I now travel yearly to interview them.

I have until the end of the year to interview each Debutante, but when I enquired I was informed that it was up to my discretion when I carry out each interview.

The task is a pleasant one; an opportunity to live in a castle for a week per Debutante and see how their training is carried out.

Jane was not best pleased to be back in a castle again but has hidden her displeasure with good grace.

As for myself, it gives me opportunities to cement old allies, make new ones and to make enemies afraid.

My enemies know I would not give false report of training; with good reason they are afraid of what information my servant and I will find out while I am here.

Glossary
Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons
Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire
Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.
The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity
The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans
Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing
The Hunters see Vampire Hunters
Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.
New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.
Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative
Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say
Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.
Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society
The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks
Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release
Sire the vampire who made you a vampire
Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands
Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points
Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points
Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes
Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve
Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

30
Apr
18

What Vampires Do


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I was recently asked what an Old Vampire does.  We do not “do” anything, we exist as we are

The human then asked what we did for a living.  With the exception of Michelle, myself and a few unfortunates, we do not work.

I have a j.o.b. at The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity and Michelle has a j.o.b. at the prison as someone must see to the needs of the Old Vampire prisoners who are kept there.

The unfortunate human received a half an hour lecture on what we actually do.  I will condense it down into a few paragraphs

We Old Vampires have money and do not need to work.  We spend time looking after our investments, hosting parties and spending time at our club.

It is a lovely existence and I wish I was still in that state.  However, I have no one but myself to blame.

Those of us who do work have been forced into it.  I would say “by means beyond our control” but we few Old Vampires who do work are those who have made bad plans or whose schemes have not come off.

While it pains me to have anything in common with Michelle, it is by our own hands that our downfall came about.

Michelle killed humans to bring about a return to the old ways and the job is part of her reformation.  She has not killed anyone important for one hundred years.

I carefully checked the reports on her eating habits myself before signing the documents which made me her supervisor, as my Status would fall if she returned to old ways.

I contracted a gambling habit, lost both money and castle and could not afford to turn down paid employment.

However, we do not enjoy these jobs and we both plan to remove ourselves from them.

We would not be Old Vampires if we were not planning such.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

17
Apr
18

Weather


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I do so enjoy these overcast nights of ours; I do not enjoy the rain they sometimes bring.

I must say that I do not like the modern affectation of an umbrella; they are ineffectual when wind is added to rain, whereas with a hat you merely have to hold on to it.

The cold does not affect us, nor the heat, but it is annoying to get wet, have to change and lose your decorum.

I have never liked anything in the sky that illuminates because of the danger to us.

There are some who revel in the rays of the sun in Africa, saying that it provides them a level of protection from mobs which can still spring up there.

I am not one of them.  Give me a cold, overcast Winter day in England and I am quite content.

On the other hand, snow impedes progress of travel.  Hail is not such an impediment unless you are flying; then it is necessary to stop until it has passed.

In Britain, until recently it was the wind that posed the most problem.  Servants were unable to fly with messages and plans had to be delayed.  This is one of the reasons the telephone has caught on so quickly of late.

Although we Old Vampires always travel in the greatest comfort we can manage, there is still the impulse in us to stay inside when the wind rages outside.

We will travel if we have a pressing engagement or necessity, but otherwise the whole castle will shut the doors.

Wise butlers will have provisioned against such circumstances or use them to punish those who have stepped out of line.

The problem of living in Britain is that four seasons can happen in one day.  In these cases, we have to cope as best as we can with it.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

03
Apr
18

Michelle’s Plan


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

Since my last post, Michelle’s attitude has markedly improved.

One reason for Michelle’s change of attitude is that I had a little “talk” with her and she now acknowledges me as her supervisor and superior.

The main reason is that she has a plan to re-introduce herself into polite society and unfortunately this involves me.

Even though I hate the very idea of her re-introduction, offenders must be rehabilitated.

If they are not, then they will go out and yet again commit the crimes for which they were incarcerated for, causing everyone a lot of trouble.

First, Michelle has to work hard at the prison and prove she can be trusted.  Then The Ruler will remove me as her supervisor.

When I am not supervising her, the stigma of what she has done will be lessened, as the decision to remove the supervision will mean that the crime against The Ruler will have been nullified.

Then she can work at cultivating allies.  These allies will have to invite her to parties, as all our machinations take place at such events.

It seems I am to be one such ally.  In truth, I cannot be choosy about allies as this was one way I paid the price of my divorce.

Usually allying myself with a Human Killer such as Michelle would cost me in allies, but I have submitted her plan as a report to The Ruler and his Men have sent it back approved and with his approval my allies will accept her.

Unfortunately her attendance will lessen the number of people attending any parties I throw, but as an enemy of mine said “I do not have the proper amount of room to throw a decent party”.  My lack of a castle chafes myself and my allies.

Michelle will be planning to change that last; she would not be an Old Vampire were she not.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide




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