Posts Tagged ‘the modern vampire

11
Oct
17

Summing Up


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

 

Last Thursday I was summoned to the hearing for my divorce.  I dropped everything at once and left for the court, as was expected of me.

I was dismayed to arrive at the same time as my husband, Jeremy, who had an annoying smirk on his face.

I could not decide if it was because he was doing it to annoy me or he knew the outcome and it was favourable to him.

So I put on my best smile and asked him how his investments were doing, which wiped the smirk off his face.

I faced Henry with an outward show of calm, but inwardly I was quaking.

Jeremy and I stood together, in front of Henry at the summing up.  Henry began by reciting why I wanted a divorce and why Jeremy wanted me to remain his wife.

He addressed my reasons first : namely, that Jeremy was not behaving as an Old Vampire should.

In support of my claim was the fact that Jeremy had disappeared to “find himself” without leaving his affairs in a good position for his wife and also that he had brought a Servant into our divorce claim.

In support of Jeremy’s claim was the fact that I would be flouting tradition and had not been a good wife since I lost “his” castle and had to w.o.r.k.  His claim was damning and unfortunately true.

Then Henry said that he had investigated both claims and both were true.  Jeremy started to argue that mine was false, but Henry shut him up by asking him if he would gainsay the word of a Judge.

Then he surprised me by saying that Tradition was not a good reason to carry on doing something.  It turns out he had known several spouses who had “gone astray” when a spouse disappeared and thus he was awarding me a divorce.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

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01
Oct
17

Jane and my Divorce


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION **

My servant Jane was not one of the witnesses at my hearing, as we do not involve servants in our affairs.

It has turned out that Jane, who enjoys being the only servant in the house and is worried about her position, talked over my divorce and the fact that my husband, Jeremy, involved her in our affairs with the butler who is overseeing her tuition.

He was able to go to Henry, who has heard evidence from both sides and is investigating the situation.

On hearing that Jeremy involved a servant in our affairs Henry was shocked and wished to learn more, so he conducted a preliminary interview of Jane in my house with her mentor as witness.

A Judge such as Henry has carte blanche to go where and when he likes if he is investigating a hearing.

I later heard from Andy, who is the Human Police Representative, that he corroborated Jane’s story that he was required to take Jeremy away from my premises.

This shows I chose correctly in my Judge; a lesser judge who quite rightly did not want to be involved with humans would have paid lip service to the entire incident.

It seems that since Jeremy had involved Jane Henry ruled that she was a “full part” of my divorce hearings and had her take the stand and give a full account of what she knew with witnesses present as to her character.

I am not privy to what Jane has said, but I am glad she took the stand as it will deter others from getting servants involved in our affairs.

While they are involved in collating information for us as the servants’ hall is an invaluable source of information, anything else is unthinkable.

I remarked on Jane’s ruffled state when she returned and that was when she informed me of what happened.  I reassured her that she had done well.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

24
Sep
17

Hearing


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I have not been writing for some months now due to my time being taken up by my divorce.

When the hearing started, at first glance Jeremy was perfectly dressed and his representatives carried themselves off so well in the witness box that I was worried.

My representatives did well, but this is the first time any Old Vampire has asked for a divorce and unless there are good reasons for such a divorce then Henry, who is the Judge for my case will refuse me one.

It was my turn to outline my reasons for a divorce; namely that Jeremy does not behave as a husband should.

I had kept the note where he had informed he had gone to “find himself” and it was upon Henry’s receipt of that note that Jeremy began to break down.

He started shaking and denying the evidence, whereupon Henry asked for a handwriting sample which matched the note.

When I outlined the levels to which I had sunk so that I had to sell my castle Jeremy was screaming that it was my gambling habit and not his lack of money that had led me to sell the castle and Henry had him removed from court.

I admitted the gambling habit but was able to provide evidence of the many debtor’s letters which had arrived after Jeremy had left.

There was a discontented rumble around the court at this.  Other Old Vampires have been known to disappear for a few months on an extended holiday, but they always wrap their affairs up beforehand.

Henry received my evidence, sent out to obtain any evidence from Jeremy and summed up by saying that he would look into the case and meanwhile we were not to have any contact with each other.

Unlike the human courts, our Judges personally investigate.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

09
Jun
17

Divorce


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

It has come to light that Jeremy was involving my servant Jane in our divorce because I have his personal possessions, which he left when he went to “find himself”.

I had put them in a storage unit and forgot about them when I moved from a castle to a house. Jeremy would naturally like them back and erroneously thought Jane held the key.

 

I have repeatedly told him that servants must not be given access to information, as no matter how good they are they will sell it on the side.

 

Of course, I made copies and took photographs of his personal items when I put them in storage. I keep the key on me at all times as I did not want the income from their sale to go to Jane.

Now these copies will stand me in good stead for my divorce as they incriminate Jeremy in his plans t disappear without a word to me.

Old Vampires have disappeared and reappeared for centuries, but that has been when they have been chased by mobs and often spouses have ended up in different countries, only to meet up a long time later.

Jeremy planned this a decade before it happened and made sure I would be left to sort out his financial mess.

 

He was hoping to come back to a superbly run castle and was shocked to find the circumstances I have had to lower myself to. He has had to fall back on staying with friends.

 

My Judge has set the date for our hearing in a month from now. I have mailed Jeremy’s key to him with the address of the storage unit as he has asked. It does not behoove me to have any direct communication with him and I do not wish him to bother Jane.

 

Thankfully his request came via one of the butlers who are overseeing Jane’s training and not Jeremy shouting at my Servant.

 

Glossary

 

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

 

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

 

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

 

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

 

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

 

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

 

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

 

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

 

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

 

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

 

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

 

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

 

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

 

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

 

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

 

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

 

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

 

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

 

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

 

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

 

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

 

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

 

 

24
May
17

Garden


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

It may come as a surprise to many readers that I have a garden, as it is the view of many that gardens are to be enjoyed by day and not by night.

This is only because humans are more active in the day. There are many plants which are pollinated by moths and it is these I populate my garden with. I can host quite a convivial gathering there.

Unfortunately my garden is not as big as I am used to it being and I can only host small gatherings.

However, since I carefully select the people who come to these small gatherings my parties are gaining a reputation for exclusivity amongst those who do not refuse out of disgust for an Old Vampire who does not have a castle or is getting a divorce.

Then there are those who attend for curiosity to see the gay divorcee who lives without a castle and dine out on the experience.

These come once and never attend again. However, I often manage to extract some relevant information out of them at the party.

The garden is the backdrop to a successful party. The scent of my jasmine and other flowers sets an exotic stage.

Despite the garden being small, I have made a main area for socialising with secluded nooks and crannies situated off the main area, where people can go to discuss subjects in private.

As the hostess I have to be in attendance much of the time, especially as Jane is my only servant.

This is always much commented on at my parties and I always say that she performs her duties admirably and then change the subject.

Unfortunately I still have to tend my garden by day or the neighbours will talk. This entails getting up early in the evening to prune, weed or move flowers about. A couple of hours of daylight is a small price to pay for a good party.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

15
May
17

Queries


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

Querents sometimes ask questions of me at parties. Sometimes this is because the information or resolution they require is too sensitive to be entrusted to a letter. These types of queries are researched into and I reply by word of mouth.

Often the queries are not as sensitive as the querent thinks, but I treat all queries as the querent does.

While I have a computer at my office, it is mainly used to answer queries from Michelle, who has my old job at the prison and it is also used to write this blog.

If an Old Vampire sent an enquiry by computer I would answer it by computer.

At the moment that is impossible as Michelle and I are the only Old Vampires who have computers. Most of Michelle’s queries are about them as we cannot have her human colleagues at the prison having more knowledge of computers than she does.

A record of my answer always goes to The Ruler’s Men who collect it in person. If I have advised the querent by word of mouth I write the answer out in the presence of The Ruler’s Men and give them the only copy.

Unfortunately the queries are often to do with what laws we can pass against werewolves. I hear them out and pass them on to The Ruler’s Men as laws are not my remit. I suspect they have a special file for them.

On rare occasions the queries are truly sensitive. These involve information of which it would be injurious or very expensive to the querent if the information were to become public knowledge.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

26
Apr
17

Reduction in Posting


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

It has been noted that the posts of this blog have decreased to bi-weekly and readers have been asking why.

I would prefer to write a weekly post, but the increased influx of requests coming into my office to be dealt with, plus Old Vampires now expect their requests to be dealt with more promptly now the telephone is commonplace in our lives, means that my workload is greater.

Sometimes I get requests from New Vampires. These requests are generated because they are not getting satisfaction from their representative. It expands my sphere of influence to answer them as best as I can.

If an Old Vampire was not getting satisfaction from one of my answers (this does happen from time to time) they would appeal to The Ruler’s Men, who would investigate.

Such investigations are always time consuming. Sometimes the result is that I am cleared, other times I am found to be at fault and corrective action is taken.

I am expected to have enough time to do my job as Old Vampire Representative on The Committee.

If I do not have time, then I have to take it up with The Ruler’s Men and account for every second of my night.

Thankfully The Ruler did not specify how often I was to write this blog, so I write it around my other duties.

I hope my work will consume less of my time and I will be able to write more.

Maybe soon that the party season is nearly over as the nights are waning with the day’s increase, I will then be able to write more.

I remind the reader of this blog that parties are work for Old Vampires.

Few of the questions I am asked, especially as the night grows old, are pertinent. Of the ones that are pertinent, the querent needs to ask but would not dare to write a letter.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide




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