14
May
18

Compact Discs


Another item I have to hide from my clients is my CD player.

Most Old Vampires are bemoaning the loss of gramophone records and being forced to use vinyl, whereas I picked up the habit of using CDs when I was working at the prison, where I learnt that practically anything could be burnt on to and thus stored on compact disc.

I did not yet have a servant and found it difficult to purchase records on vinyl, as not many shops stored them.

I used to save up, travel to London and spend all my money on vinyl, except for what was necessary to purchase a good meal.

While this was enjoyable, I only had the funds to do this once or twice a year, since nearly all my money goes into repairing my savings and investments.

I found it much easier buying compact discs and now I can send Jane out to make the purchases. Old Vampires do not care what a servant buys unless it is for them.

If other Old Vampires found out about my usage of compact discs, I would be ridiculed. They would say that the technology is too new and it will not stand the test of time.

I fear they are correct, but I am now used to compact discs and would find it difficult to change back.

I still make a trip to London once a year to keep up the pretence of buying vinyl.

In reality I go window shopping and funnel the money I would have used into savings and investments.

I still keep to the old ways and have Jane display the record player at home, while my compact disc player is kept at the office.

I chafe at this, but a compact disc player at the office can be explained away.

I will have to wait until a century has passed for it to be on display at home.

Glossary
Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons
Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire
Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.
The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity
The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans
Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing
The Hunters see Vampire Hunters
Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.
New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.
Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative
Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say
Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.
Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society
The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks
Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release
Sire the vampire who made you a vampire
Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands
Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points
Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points
Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes
Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve
Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

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10
May
18

My Office


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

When I joined The Committee, I furnished my office as Old Vampires would expect to find it.

Offices are not natural haunts of Old Vampires. They are rooms in which servants would conduct business, but not Old Vampires.

If an Old Vampire is sitting across from me, it is only because their business cannot be pursued at the club and I must make them comfortable.

I must have a desk to work at, but it is the traditional wood and green found in many a castle at which any Old Vampire would pursue business.

The drawers mainly hold a choice selection of cigars, cigarettes and cigarillos for my clients. My laptop hides away there from my customers and my telephone is unplugged and put away when they arrive.

I keep a choice selection of drink in a cabinet. One of the butlers who is supervising my servant Jane’s training asked permission to use it. I agreed with the proviso that he would make any suggestions necessary, which greatly pleased him.

I have a chaise longue and sofa on the other side of the desk for my clients’ ease. The carpets are Turkish and the floor is piled high with them. Some clients prefer to sit on them, in which case I join them and the hookah pipe is brought out for our enjoyment.

Thanks to the new invention of the telephone, I can have Jane travel to my office to dispense drink and smokes, then sit and take notes.

While the two paintings on the walls are not Monet nor Renoir, they are the only serviceable items the previous incumbent left behind. The rest of the furnishings came from my castle before it was sold.

The last incumbent wished to make his clients leave as soon as possible so he could pursue his own interests, but if that happens I will not be told what I need to know so I can obtain a good resolution for my clients.

Glossary
Bonded Wedding : Old Vampire marriage for political reasons
Common Status : the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire
Debutante Vampires : before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.
The Committee : see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity
The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity : a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans
Fence : an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing
The Hunters : see Vampire Hunters
Negatives : Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.
New Vampires : vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.
Notice : the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative
Obligation : when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say
Old Vampires : vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.
Parent : the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society
The Ruler’s Men : people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks
Shun : a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release
Sire : the vampire who made you a vampire
Status : a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands
Status Keeper : the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points
Thousands : Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points
Vampire Hunters : New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes
Vampire Servants : servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve
Walk into the sun : a euphemism for suicide

30
Apr
18

What Vampires Do


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I was recently asked what an Old Vampire does.  We do not “do” anything, we exist as we are

The human then asked what we did for a living.  With the exception of Michelle, myself and a few unfortunates, we do not work.

I have a j.o.b. at The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity and Michelle has a j.o.b. at the prison as someone must see to the needs of the Old Vampire prisoners who are kept there.

The unfortunate human received a half an hour lecture on what we actually do.  I will condense it down into a few paragraphs

We Old Vampires have money and do not need to work.  We spend time looking after our investments, hosting parties and spending time at our club.

It is a lovely existence and I wish I was still in that state.  However, I have no one but myself to blame.

Those of us who do work have been forced into it.  I would say “by means beyond our control” but we few Old Vampires who do work are those who have made bad plans or whose schemes have not come off.

While it pains me to have anything in common with Michelle, it is by our own hands that our downfall came about.

Michelle killed humans to bring about a return to the old ways and the job is part of her reformation.  She has not killed anyone important for one hundred years.

I carefully checked the reports on her eating habits myself before signing the documents which made me her supervisor, as my Status would fall if she returned to old ways.

I contracted a gambling habit, lost both money and castle and could not afford to turn down paid employment.

However, we do not enjoy these jobs and we both plan to remove ourselves from them.

We would not be Old Vampires if we were not planning such.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

24
Apr
18

Moon


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I have never liked the moon because it shows us flying, which makes it easier for night-flying creatures to attempt to predate us.

It is impossible for birds to kill us, but many a servant has shown up at the back door of a castle that was not their destination worse for such an attack and requiring rest and sustenance before moving on to their destination.

Unfortunately for the servant, the price of rest and sustenance is the duty they were sent on being known by the servants of that castle.

We realise that this is an unfortunate turn of events and not the servant’s fault.  However, this is one of the reasons why the telephone has recently caught on so quickly.

Old Vampires rarely fly; we must arrive by carriage at events, although cars are used for everynight use.   Adele charges me a pretty penny for hire of hers, but since I lack a castle I lack stables; inns and hostelries no longer have stables.

I now own a Porsche and since I have paid for Jane to obtain a driving licence she lives to take it out for a spin and is eager to break the speed limit, whereas I am not.  The proper time to arrive is the time at which you arrive at.

Other than that, the moon does not affect us as it does the werewolves and humans.

The word “lunacy” is derived from “luna” which is a word for the Moon.  Humans have always been affected by it, although their sceptics deny it.

The moon also affects our night vision.  Old Vampire Servants have been injured when clouds moved and the moon suddenly shone when they were swooping to avoid an obstacle.

Since I left the prison I only fly during emergencies, as any Old Vampire should.

Flying used to be common practice, now it is only something servants utilise.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

17
Apr
18

Weather


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I do so enjoy these overcast nights of ours; I do not enjoy the rain they sometimes bring.

I must say that I do not like the modern affectation of an umbrella; they are ineffectual when wind is added to rain, whereas with a hat you merely have to hold on to it.

The cold does not affect us, nor the heat, but it is annoying to get wet, have to change and lose your decorum.

I have never liked anything in the sky that illuminates because of the danger to us.

There are some who revel in the rays of the sun in Africa, saying that it provides them a level of protection from mobs which can still spring up there.

I am not one of them.  Give me a cold, overcast Winter day in England and I am quite content.

On the other hand, snow impedes progress of travel.  Hail is not such an impediment unless you are flying; then it is necessary to stop until it has passed.

In Britain, until recently it was the wind that posed the most problem.  Servants were unable to fly with messages and plans had to be delayed.  This is one of the reasons the telephone has caught on so quickly of late.

Although we Old Vampires always travel in the greatest comfort we can manage, there is still the impulse in us to stay inside when the wind rages outside.

We will travel if we have a pressing engagement or necessity, but otherwise the whole castle will shut the doors.

Wise butlers will have provisioned against such circumstances or use them to punish those who have stepped out of line.

The problem of living in Britain is that four seasons can happen in one day.  In these cases, we have to cope as best as we can with it.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

03
Apr
18

Michelle’s Plan


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

Since my last post, Michelle’s attitude has markedly improved.

One reason for Michelle’s change of attitude is that I had a little “talk” with her and she now acknowledges me as her supervisor and superior.

The main reason is that she has a plan to re-introduce herself into polite society and unfortunately this involves me.

Even though I hate the very idea of her re-introduction, offenders must be rehabilitated.

If they are not, then they will go out and yet again commit the crimes for which they were incarcerated for, causing everyone a lot of trouble.

First, Michelle has to work hard at the prison and prove she can be trusted.  Then The Ruler will remove me as her supervisor.

When I am not supervising her, the stigma of what she has done will be lessened, as the decision to remove the supervision will mean that the crime against The Ruler will have been nullified.

Then she can work at cultivating allies.  These allies will have to invite her to parties, as all our machinations take place at such events.

It seems I am to be one such ally.  In truth, I cannot be choosy about allies as this was one way I paid the price of my divorce.

Usually allying myself with a Human Killer such as Michelle would cost me in allies, but I have submitted her plan as a report to The Ruler and his Men have sent it back approved and with his approval my allies will accept her.

Unfortunately her attendance will lessen the number of people attending any parties I throw, but as an enemy of mine said “I do not have the proper amount of room to throw a decent party”.  My lack of a castle chafes myself and my allies.

Michelle will be planning to change that last; she would not be an Old Vampire were she not.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

19
Feb
18

Talking to Michelle


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

It seems that Michelle is still upset with what happened at my party.

This has been reflected in her work; she has had as little to do with me as possible and her emails have been stilted.

I cannot fault the actual work that she turns in, but her attitude is appalling.

If I had a castle and she was a servant, I would call my butler and have him deal with her; nor is she my current servant Jane who I can rely upon for both attitude and work.

So I have to deal with her myself.  I decided that such a thing was best done privately.  After all, it is not done for people to know you have employee trouble.

I went to the prison and asked to speak to her.  They had great delight in informing me that Michelle was talking to prisoners and could not be interrupted, which means that she was delivering blood.

So I made myself comfortable in my former office and commented on the office and their work, informing them helpfully of misspellings and such mistakes.  They soon left the office and I had it all to myself when Michelle came back.

She was surprised to see me and at first denied her bad attitude.  That meant I had to get angry with her, which I did and she admitted that she was not happy with how she had been treated at my party.

It seems she came expecting to congratulate me and receive some convivial conversation.

So I sat her down and talked to her about how both she and I are tainted.  Michelle with her reputation as Human Killer and me with my lack of castle.

We are both tainted by having to be employed, but as I explained, Michelle flouted The Ruler’s laws which means that people will not want to have anything to do with you.  I did not.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide




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