Posts Tagged ‘old vampires

09
Jul
18

Explaining


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I have had some explaining to do lately.  I was “invited” to my club and told to sit down amidst a gathering of my peers.

I was then told I had been entertaining New Vampires regularly at my “place of residence”.

My jaw dropped at this.  Someone must have seen the new New Vampire Representative enter my home and lose no time in selling on this information.

I mustered my composure and replied that only one New Vampire had entered my home and surely this is a matter for The Ruler’s Men.

There was uproar at this and when the room had quietened down an ally of mine called James asked me why even one New Vampire was entering my home.

I explained that it was the new New Vampire Representative who had come on business and that, as much as I wanted to, I had no grounds to refuse him as he was observing Old Vampire etiquette.

That drew murmurs from the crowd and looks of sympathy from my allies, because we all observe the proper etiquette and if they had been in my place could not have refused Darren entry.

I then remembered what I learnt from the Human Police Representative, looked them straight in their eyes and asked if they had any proof.

There were more mutters at this and so I asked if they had any eyewitnesses and the mutters dissipated somewhat.

So, I sighed and said that I was sorry they had gone to all this trouble on the strength of bad information, stood up and left.

Jane was waiting for me in a state of agitation when I came home and I had to spend some time dispelling her fears that we would be turned out of the house I own.  It is only New Vampires who act like mobs.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

Advertisements
22
May
18

Reporting to The Ruler


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

Readers will have noticed that the frequency in my posts has been somewhat erratic of late.

This is because The Ruler has tasked me with reporting on the Debutante Vampires in Britain.

My readers may remember that it was a Debutante Vampire who killed prominent humans last year.

Before this, people were saying that standards of training had dropped.

I took little notice of this, as I have my own problems and also because it is a complaint I have heard every decade since I have been an Old Vampire.

It seems that this complaint, coupled with the results of the interviews The Ruler’s Men have had with The Human Killer, have spurred on our Ruler to act with unprecedented speed.

Because of this I have been recently tasked with a new duty: to make an inspection of the Debutantes we have.

A list of the few we have is supplied to me by the Status Keeper and I now travel yearly to interview them.

I have until the end of the year to interview each Debutante, but when I enquired I was informed that it was up to my discretion when I carry out each interview.

The task is a pleasant one; an opportunity to live in a castle for a week per Debutante and see how their training is carried out.

Jane was not best pleased to be back in a castle again but has hidden her displeasure with good grace.

As for myself, it gives me opportunities to cement old allies, make new ones and to make enemies afraid.

My enemies know I would not give false report of training; with good reason they are afraid of what information my servant and I will find out while I am here.

Glossary
Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons
Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire
Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.
The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity
The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans
Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing
The Hunters see Vampire Hunters
Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.
New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.
Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative
Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say
Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.
Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society
The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks
Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release
Sire the vampire who made you a vampire
Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands
Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points
Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points
Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes
Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve
Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

10
May
18

My Office


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

When I joined The Committee, I furnished my office as Old Vampires would expect to find it.

Offices are not natural haunts of Old Vampires. They are rooms in which servants would conduct business, but not Old Vampires.

If an Old Vampire is sitting across from me, it is only because their business cannot be pursued at the club and I must make them comfortable.

I must have a desk to work at, but it is the traditional wood and green found in many a castle at which any Old Vampire would pursue business.

The drawers mainly hold a choice selection of cigars, cigarettes and cigarillos for my clients. My laptop hides away there from my customers and my telephone is unplugged and put away when they arrive.

I keep a choice selection of drink in a cabinet. One of the butlers who is supervising my servant Jane’s training asked permission to use it. I agreed with the proviso that he would make any suggestions necessary, which greatly pleased him.

I have a chaise longue and sofa on the other side of the desk for my clients’ ease. The carpets are Turkish and the floor is piled high with them. Some clients prefer to sit on them, in which case I join them and the hookah pipe is brought out for our enjoyment.

Thanks to the new invention of the telephone, I can have Jane travel to my office to dispense drink and smokes, then sit and take notes.

While the two paintings on the walls are not Monet nor Renoir, they are the only serviceable items the previous incumbent left behind. The rest of the furnishings came from my castle before it was sold.

The last incumbent wished to make his clients leave as soon as possible so he could pursue his own interests, but if that happens I will not be told what I need to know so I can obtain a good resolution for my clients.

Glossary
Bonded Wedding : Old Vampire marriage for political reasons
Common Status : the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire
Debutante Vampires : before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.
The Committee : see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity
The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity : a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans
Fence : an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing
The Hunters : see Vampire Hunters
Negatives : Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.
New Vampires : vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.
Notice : the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative
Obligation : when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say
Old Vampires : vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.
Parent : the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society
The Ruler’s Men : people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks
Shun : a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release
Sire : the vampire who made you a vampire
Status : a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands
Status Keeper : the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points
Thousands : Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points
Vampire Hunters : New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes
Vampire Servants : servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve
Walk into the sun : a euphemism for suicide

30
Apr
18

What Vampires Do


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I was recently asked what an Old Vampire does.  We do not “do” anything, we exist as we are

The human then asked what we did for a living.  With the exception of Michelle, myself and a few unfortunates, we do not work.

I have a j.o.b. at The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity and Michelle has a j.o.b. at the prison as someone must see to the needs of the Old Vampire prisoners who are kept there.

The unfortunate human received a half an hour lecture on what we actually do.  I will condense it down into a few paragraphs

We Old Vampires have money and do not need to work.  We spend time looking after our investments, hosting parties and spending time at our club.

It is a lovely existence and I wish I was still in that state.  However, I have no one but myself to blame.

Those of us who do work have been forced into it.  I would say “by means beyond our control” but we few Old Vampires who do work are those who have made bad plans or whose schemes have not come off.

While it pains me to have anything in common with Michelle, it is by our own hands that our downfall came about.

Michelle killed humans to bring about a return to the old ways and the job is part of her reformation.  She has not killed anyone important for one hundred years.

I carefully checked the reports on her eating habits myself before signing the documents which made me her supervisor, as my Status would fall if she returned to old ways.

I contracted a gambling habit, lost both money and castle and could not afford to turn down paid employment.

However, we do not enjoy these jobs and we both plan to remove ourselves from them.

We would not be Old Vampires if we were not planning such.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

24
Apr
18

Moon


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I have never liked the moon because it shows us flying, which makes it easier for night-flying creatures to attempt to predate us.

It is impossible for birds to kill us, but many a servant has shown up at the back door of a castle that was not their destination worse for such an attack and requiring rest and sustenance before moving on to their destination.

Unfortunately for the servant, the price of rest and sustenance is the duty they were sent on being known by the servants of that castle.

We realise that this is an unfortunate turn of events and not the servant’s fault.  However, this is one of the reasons why the telephone has recently caught on so quickly.

Old Vampires rarely fly; we must arrive by carriage at events, although cars are used for everynight use.   Adele charges me a pretty penny for hire of hers, but since I lack a castle I lack stables; inns and hostelries no longer have stables.

I now own a Porsche and since I have paid for Jane to obtain a driving licence she lives to take it out for a spin and is eager to break the speed limit, whereas I am not.  The proper time to arrive is the time at which you arrive at.

Other than that, the moon does not affect us as it does the werewolves and humans.

The word “lunacy” is derived from “luna” which is a word for the Moon.  Humans have always been affected by it, although their sceptics deny it.

The moon also affects our night vision.  Old Vampire Servants have been injured when clouds moved and the moon suddenly shone when they were swooping to avoid an obstacle.

Since I left the prison I only fly during emergencies, as any Old Vampire should.

Flying used to be common practice, now it is only something servants utilise.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

17
Apr
18

Weather


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I do so enjoy these overcast nights of ours; I do not enjoy the rain they sometimes bring.

I must say that I do not like the modern affectation of an umbrella; they are ineffectual when wind is added to rain, whereas with a hat you merely have to hold on to it.

The cold does not affect us, nor the heat, but it is annoying to get wet, have to change and lose your decorum.

I have never liked anything in the sky that illuminates because of the danger to us.

There are some who revel in the rays of the sun in Africa, saying that it provides them a level of protection from mobs which can still spring up there.

I am not one of them.  Give me a cold, overcast Winter day in England and I am quite content.

On the other hand, snow impedes progress of travel.  Hail is not such an impediment unless you are flying; then it is necessary to stop until it has passed.

In Britain, until recently it was the wind that posed the most problem.  Servants were unable to fly with messages and plans had to be delayed.  This is one of the reasons the telephone has caught on so quickly of late.

Although we Old Vampires always travel in the greatest comfort we can manage, there is still the impulse in us to stay inside when the wind rages outside.

We will travel if we have a pressing engagement or necessity, but otherwise the whole castle will shut the doors.

Wise butlers will have provisioned against such circumstances or use them to punish those who have stepped out of line.

The problem of living in Britain is that four seasons can happen in one day.  In these cases, we have to cope as best as we can with it.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

14
Feb
18

Return


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I apologise for the enforced gap between when I last wrote and now.

An Old Vampire, grateful to myself for removing a problem with the local werewolves, organised a holiday in Russia as a reward.

The problem had been easy enough to remove; I talked to the Werewolf Representative and it turned out that the pack had been a thorn in her side and she was glad of any excuse to discipline them.

Michelle, who took over my job in the prison, was glad to take over my duties and I spent a day briefing her.

Unfortunately, her attitude towards me has worsened; I did not have time to address this before I left, but I will do so soon.

As usual, I had to endure my servant Jane in a heightened state of excitement.  Her taste in music has not improved.

Until she worked for me she did not visit other countries, whereas I have visited all European countries, a few Asian and African ones and I went to the Americas once.

I am pleased to say that my hosts commented favourably on Jane’s behaviour; the lessons she has been receiving from various Old Vampire Butlers have improved her and when I next see them I will tip them over-generously.

She is in an unusual position as she is the only servant to an Old Vampire and they do not want her to let the side down, so according to them and I, her lessons are mandatory.

The holiday itself was most enjoyable and I was able to strengthen connections between British and Russian Old Vampires.

Jane also strengthened connections between British and Russian Old Vampire Servants.  It is not for me to ask why, but I can make an educated guess.

You never know when you will need connections in a tight spot.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide




Lonely Blogs

lonelyblogs.com blog directory
Advertisements