Archive for the 'Vampire Life' Category

13
Jun
18

Employees


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I have a natural advantage over human employers because I have been an employer for several centuries.

One of the rules I live by and which many human employers do not seem to understand is to keep those you employ happy.

For example, many human employers would ignore Jane’s unhappiness at living in castle after castle while I am ascertaining that Debutante Vampires are being trained properly.

They may even retort that it is “part of the job”.  That is certainly true, but dissatisfied employees always find a way to take out their unhappiness on their employers, whereas a happy employee does their best to carry out your wishes.

Of course, there is a limit to how far you indulge your employees.  For example, I have rejected Jane’s request for an extra day off for more training.

I am satisfied with the way Jane is progressing.  While she is not perfect, most of her duties are performed well and there has been a gradual improvement in the standard of her work over the years she has worked for me.

Most human employers do not realise that if the standard of work of your employee is dropping, they need to speak to the employee and ascertain what is wrong.

It is normally the butler’s job to do this.  A good butler will do this before his employer realises there is anything wrong

Since I have no butler, I am responsible for staff relations.  It is not an easy job, but fortunately I only have Jane and Michelle at the prison to oversee.

I do not like that Michelle is my employee, but it has been made clear that I am responsible for both her successes and her failures while she is at the prison.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

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24
Apr
18

Moon


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I have never liked the moon because it shows us flying, which makes it easier for night-flying creatures to attempt to predate us.

It is impossible for birds to kill us, but many a servant has shown up at the back door of a castle that was not their destination worse for such an attack and requiring rest and sustenance before moving on to their destination.

Unfortunately for the servant, the price of rest and sustenance is the duty they were sent on being known by the servants of that castle.

We realise that this is an unfortunate turn of events and not the servant’s fault.  However, this is one of the reasons why the telephone has recently caught on so quickly.

Old Vampires rarely fly; we must arrive by carriage at events, although cars are used for everynight use.   Adele charges me a pretty penny for hire of hers, but since I lack a castle I lack stables; inns and hostelries no longer have stables.

I now own a Porsche and since I have paid for Jane to obtain a driving licence she lives to take it out for a spin and is eager to break the speed limit, whereas I am not.  The proper time to arrive is the time at which you arrive at.

Other than that, the moon does not affect us as it does the werewolves and humans.

The word “lunacy” is derived from “luna” which is a word for the Moon.  Humans have always been affected by it, although their sceptics deny it.

The moon also affects our night vision.  Old Vampire Servants have been injured when clouds moved and the moon suddenly shone when they were swooping to avoid an obstacle.

Since I left the prison I only fly during emergencies, as any Old Vampire should.

Flying used to be common practice, now it is only something servants utilise.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

17
Apr
18

Weather


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I do so enjoy these overcast nights of ours; I do not enjoy the rain they sometimes bring.

I must say that I do not like the modern affectation of an umbrella; they are ineffectual when wind is added to rain, whereas with a hat you merely have to hold on to it.

The cold does not affect us, nor the heat, but it is annoying to get wet, have to change and lose your decorum.

I have never liked anything in the sky that illuminates because of the danger to us.

There are some who revel in the rays of the sun in Africa, saying that it provides them a level of protection from mobs which can still spring up there.

I am not one of them.  Give me a cold, overcast Winter day in England and I am quite content.

On the other hand, snow impedes progress of travel.  Hail is not such an impediment unless you are flying; then it is necessary to stop until it has passed.

In Britain, until recently it was the wind that posed the most problem.  Servants were unable to fly with messages and plans had to be delayed.  This is one of the reasons the telephone has caught on so quickly of late.

Although we Old Vampires always travel in the greatest comfort we can manage, there is still the impulse in us to stay inside when the wind rages outside.

We will travel if we have a pressing engagement or necessity, but otherwise the whole castle will shut the doors.

Wise butlers will have provisioned against such circumstances or use them to punish those who have stepped out of line.

The problem of living in Britain is that four seasons can happen in one day.  In these cases, we have to cope as best as we can with it.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

14
Feb
18

Return


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I apologise for the enforced gap between when I last wrote and now.

An Old Vampire, grateful to myself for removing a problem with the local werewolves, organised a holiday in Russia as a reward.

The problem had been easy enough to remove; I talked to the Werewolf Representative and it turned out that the pack had been a thorn in her side and she was glad of any excuse to discipline them.

Michelle, who took over my job in the prison, was glad to take over my duties and I spent a day briefing her.

Unfortunately, her attitude towards me has worsened; I did not have time to address this before I left, but I will do so soon.

As usual, I had to endure my servant Jane in a heightened state of excitement.  Her taste in music has not improved.

Until she worked for me she did not visit other countries, whereas I have visited all European countries, a few Asian and African ones and I went to the Americas once.

I am pleased to say that my hosts commented favourably on Jane’s behaviour; the lessons she has been receiving from various Old Vampire Butlers have improved her and when I next see them I will tip them over-generously.

She is in an unusual position as she is the only servant to an Old Vampire and they do not want her to let the side down, so according to them and I, her lessons are mandatory.

The holiday itself was most enjoyable and I was able to strengthen connections between British and Russian Old Vampires.

Jane also strengthened connections between British and Russian Old Vampire Servants.  It is not for me to ask why, but I can make an educated guess.

You never know when you will need connections in a tight spot.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

05
Nov
17

Aftermath


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

Affairs are still settling down after the news of my divorce got out.  I am still an object of whispers and to some I am known as “that woman” while I hear that my Judge has not had to pay for his food since.

There are two divorces which have now been brought before Judges, but I hear those are more difficult cases as both parties are still living with one another.

I suspect our Ruler is letting the Judges make the law on divorce, as this is a matter between one subject and another; it will not affect the tax he collects.

Andy, the Human Police Representative on The Committee, congratulated me on my divorce at a Committee meeting.

Privately he has said that he thought Jeremy was “a piece of work”.  I have had to do a lot of research to find out what he meant.

The others at The Committee received the news with different feelings.  Saskia who is the Werewolf Representative is firmly against it, while Nosferatu who is the New Vampire Representative mentioned that New Vampires do not get married.

I retorted with the fact that New Vampires do not do much of anything and asked if he’d been to see Columbine lately, who is a New Vampire in the prison.  He changed the subject.

My servant Jane is starting to return from her nights off in more of her usual neat state, rather than looking worse for wear.

My desk is filled with letters about my divorce.  Some congratulatory and some filled with hatred and bile.  These last are anonymous and I have consigned them to the wastepaper bin.

Then there are others criticising and questioning what I did.  I have formulated a stock letter to reply to these as while I must reply to every letter I would not be paid for these.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

29
Oct
17

Party


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

The only blot on my party was Michelle.  She is an Old Vampire who has killed prominent humans; not those who would be missed or from self-defence but to see a return to the old ways.

Since she helped catch Michael, the latest Human killer, she has been given my old job in the prison and last night she turned up.

I did not notice her until there was a sudden silence.  I turned around and she was alone in the middle of my living room.  One of my guests must have been playing at footman and let her in.

It was a tricky situation, as I could not turn her out as she had not done anything in my house that I could turn her out for.

So I had to welcome her and play the gracious hostess.  I did so and then informed her that I had given my servant the night off and everyone was taking their turn at being a servant.

I suggested that she take the coats of others and hang them up, as they were lying everywhere.

She drew herself up and opened her mouth, then thought better of it and acquiesced to my plan.  Thankfully that dissolved the atmosphere.

I had to endure murmurs of “this is what happens when you only have one servant” but put them in their place by asking if they were going to invest in one of my financial schemes, so I could afford another servant.

Since I have sunk so low I cannot afford financial schemes they were forced to withdraw rather than admit ignorance.  Of course, this will not endear me to them, but since they were my enemies I will take no further harm than I would have done.

Michelle took the coats with ill grace, flounced off and everyone breathed a sigh of relief.  Someone who has broken our Ruler’s laws is not welcome anywhere.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

24
Sep
17

Hearing


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I have not been writing for some months now due to my time being taken up by my divorce.

When the hearing started, at first glance Jeremy was perfectly dressed and his representatives carried themselves off so well in the witness box that I was worried.

My representatives did well, but this is the first time any Old Vampire has asked for a divorce and unless there are good reasons for such a divorce then Henry, who is the Judge for my case will refuse me one.

It was my turn to outline my reasons for a divorce; namely that Jeremy does not behave as a husband should.

I had kept the note where he had informed he had gone to “find himself” and it was upon Henry’s receipt of that note that Jeremy began to break down.

He started shaking and denying the evidence, whereupon Henry asked for a handwriting sample which matched the note.

When I outlined the levels to which I had sunk so that I had to sell my castle Jeremy was screaming that it was my gambling habit and not his lack of money that had led me to sell the castle and Henry had him removed from court.

I admitted the gambling habit but was able to provide evidence of the many debtor’s letters which had arrived after Jeremy had left.

There was a discontented rumble around the court at this.  Other Old Vampires have been known to disappear for a few months on an extended holiday, but they always wrap their affairs up beforehand.

Henry received my evidence, sent out to obtain any evidence from Jeremy and summed up by saying that he would look into the case and meanwhile we were not to have any contact with each other.

Unlike the human courts, our Judges personally investigate.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide




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