Archive for the 'Old Vampires' Category

15
May
17

Queries


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

Querents sometimes ask questions of me at parties. Sometimes this is because the information or resolution they require is too sensitive to be entrusted to a letter. These types of queries are researched into and I reply by word of mouth.

Often the queries are not as sensitive as the querent thinks, but I treat all queries as the querent does.

While I have a computer at my office, it is mainly used to answer queries from Michelle, who has my old job at the prison and it is also used to write this blog.

If an Old Vampire sent an enquiry by computer I would answer it by computer.

At the moment that is impossible as Michelle and I are the only Old Vampires who have computers. Most of Michelle’s queries are about them as we cannot have her human colleagues at the prison having more knowledge of computers than she does.

A record of my answer always goes to The Ruler’s Men who collect it in person. If I have advised the querent by word of mouth I write the answer out in the presence of The Ruler’s Men and give them the only copy.

Unfortunately the queries are often to do with what laws we can pass against werewolves. I hear them out and pass them on to The Ruler’s Men as laws are not my remit. I suspect they have a special file for them.

On rare occasions the queries are truly sensitive. These involve information of which it would be injurious or very expensive to the querent if the information were to become public knowledge.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

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16
Feb
17

Initiating Proceedings


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

Initiating Proceedings

I have initiated divorce proceedings today so I can divorce Jeremy. It has taken me a while to research Old Vampire Judges so I can have someone who will hear my case.

A Judge is one of the few respectable professions in Old Vampire society, as we need people who can step in when a fence has finished and one of the parties involved is not happy with the result. People killing one another means less revenue for The Ruler.

The unhappy party can take his or her case before the Judge, who will hear from both parties and pronounce the finding, which will inform both parties what is needed to be done, or if nothing is to be done, then the judge will say that one or other party was “in the right”, which means correct in what they did.

All parties have to abide by the Judge’s finding and take the matter no further. I have never heard of an Old Vampire who did take the matter further. If they did, the Judge would be within their rights to kill them.

Every Old Vampire Judge will be chomping at the bit to hear this case as it is breaking new ground, so I had to be very careful who I chose as they would all say they were the correct person to hear the case.

Everyone including The Judges will think it is a great scandal. The Judges will not care as long as they are the one to hear it.

Unfortunately this means that the unchosen Judges will be enemies of mine and I do not have the means to convince them otherwise.

The Judge I chose is Henry Mortimer. He has a record of hearing “unusual” cases and nearly all of the parties heard by him report satisfaction with the judgement.

We have set a date for a hearing and he is going to contact Jeremy. Jeremy will not be happy, but he will have to abide by the judge’s ruling. If he does not turn up he will forfeit all.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

02
Feb
17

Irritation


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I find my servant Jane irritating at times, but not as much as I did my husband, who irritated me so much that I could have screamed at him.

Jane’s drink preferences and singing are all that irritates me about her and the odd irritation from a good servant must be endured, although I have put an embargo on all Christmas music until December begins.

Jane has started singing the latest songs from the hit parade instead, which I cannot say is much of an improvement.

My husband irritated me by locking himself in his study and did not communicate what he was doing or whom he was writing letters to.

I had to wait and find out the consequences of his actions, never dreaming that he would choose to walk away from all he had to “find himself”.

This itself irritates me beyond belief as in the first case, it is ridiculous for an Old Vampire to do.

It would not be beneath a New Vampire to ape humans like this, which they are wont to do.

In the second case, I was left to pick up the pieces and pay all his debts.

I had been treated as the little woman in this marriage for all of my life, not allowed to know what was going on and having to be content to sit and entertain guests.

It more than irritates me that he expected to come back and find everything as before with card decks out on green tables.

I, who have always gambled have not even picked up a deck of cards for years. Jane aids me in scrupulously keeping the house free of such things.

I am gradually building up investments and a portfolio, so I can return to owning a castle and having more than one servant.

I have my own life now; even though it is not the life an Old Vampire should have, it is mine.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

12
Jan
17

Work and Play


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I have been absent from this blog for too long and have recently been reminded about my writing duties.

I have, of course, been partying and enjoying the season without having to get up in the daytime to go to w.o.r.k. and have found it even more enjoyable now I can sleep after the parties.

Since I no longer work in the daytime I have more invitations to parties and am able to accept more. For an Old Vampire there is no such thing as accepting too many invitations.

So the blood flowed and I talked to allies and enemies alike and bought and sold information.

I felt like an Old Vampire again for the first time in a long time, although I did have to put down a few jabs about living in a semi-detached house. Some of those were from Jeremy. Since he is my husband I was obliged to offer to take him with me to all invitations I had accepted, which is something that irked me greatly.

Let me reassure some of you that I have been in to the office to process paperwork and deal with any messages left for me, but an Old Vampire always works at parties and I got a lot of work done.

Few messages were left for me at my office when people could stop me at a party and ask.

Most of what I deal with are trivial queries which can be answered in a minute. If the querent asks me face to face it does not require any paperwork on my part.

Few matters require much time and attention, but the position of Old Vampire Representative on The Committee needs to be filled for such as those and to liaise with other representatives, which keeps we undead hidden from humans, who would rise up and kill us if they knew we existed and how many of them we kill.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

07
Sep
16

No Longer Working


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

No Longer Working

At last I no longer have to work with humans. I celebrated by throwing a party and we partied on through the night.

I would have been unable to do this while I worked at the prison, as I would have had to get up for work the next morning.

My human colleagues also threw me a party, but they called it a leaving do. Theirs was shorter, but they were as glad to see me leave as I am glad to leave.

The change of post has come about because The Ruler has seen fit to reward my efforts for helping to catch the Human Killer by making my post on The Committee full time and paid.

Now I have a post where I am able to sleep in the day and work at night.

My servant Jane was happy at the news, as she no longer has to tiptoe around me trying not to wake me while doing her job.

The Committee meets in the evening to fit in with Werewolf, New Vampire and Human schedules, as this is the only time when all are awake. This is the equivalent of a Breakfast meeting for we non-humans.

Unfortunately he is also rewarding Michelle with my old job in the prison.

She is the former human-killer who provided the information that helped us catch Michael, the latest human-killer.

I am uneasy at human-killers being at large. Not because they kill humans, but because they are breakers of Old Vampire law.

I do see the need to reward her and show the other few human-killers out there the benefits of co-operation, but there must be some other way.

However, not to be working with humans will raise my Status further and I have already been invited to some parties that I would not have been invited to were I working with humans.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

08
Jan
16

Christmas


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

Now the human festive season is over I can relax. I do not have to socialise with any humans or get into “the festive spirit” which in my opinion the best is Courvoisier.

The decorations are all down and the humans are looking depressed and miserable, having spent too much money and being unable to afford to go out.

Somehow I manage to express sympathy with my human colleagues as to their plight.

This “season” has passed most of us Old Vampires by. If it were not for my servant I would be happy to let it pass me by.

Instead of which I had to attend Christmas dinner. I also had to escort the Old Vampire who killed humans to prison.

It was an uncomfortable conversation explaining to Andy, the Human Police Representative that I had to be back for Christmas dinner because of my servant, but then he admitted that he had to be back for Christmas dinner with his wife. It is the first time I have seen the police look sheepish.

We then quickly brought the conversation around to escort arrangements for the prisoner.

I had to ride in the back of the van, which was not salubrious at all, but another Old Vampire needs to be near to him at all times to make sure he behaves.

It was annoying being manacled to the prisoner at all times, but this meant he would have had to attack me first to get free.

One of the discussions I have had with Andy was countermeasures if he did break free.

The humans would have to use a tank to stop an Old Vampire escapee in his tracks, but these measures would slow him down enough for The Ruler’s Men to capture him – a task they would take out on the Old Vampire concerned.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

12
Nov
15

Returning to Normal


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

Unfortunately things are returning to normal. Invitations to parties are dying down to their normal level and I have returned to w.o.r.k.

At work I have been asked how I am, as my cover is that I was off ill, but we did not specify what my illness was as we did not know how long it would take to track the killer down.

After conferring with Andy, who is the Human Police Representative, we decided to say I had influenza with complications.

Apparently humans never go into details of disease and this has been proved true.

Unfortunately I have a lot to do at w.o.r.k., as of course my colleagues have not covered for me; just let things drift so my desk is currently covered in paper.

My colleagues are solicitous in only the way human women who are really not interested in you are.

I give them two weeks before they return to their usual obstructive and annoying selves.

Thankfully influenza can take a lot of recuperation, so my Human managers are not asking me many questions about my work and will not expect me to be Superwoman for a few weeks yet.

My servant Jane is not going out as much as she used to and seems to be moping because of it.

I have told her to buck up as if she was serving in a castle, as is normal, she would not get the opportunities she currently enjoys as they would be the prerogative of the butler.

Unfortunately this did not seem to work and I will just have to wait until she stops moping.

I am not surprised that none of the Old Vampires associated with the killer have returned. A week is a very short time for Old Vampires. I am still getting many anxious telephone calls about these, but unfortunately there is nothing I can do.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide




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