Archive for the 'Old Vampires' Category

09
Jul
18

Explaining


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I have had some explaining to do lately.  I was “invited” to my club and told to sit down amidst a gathering of my peers.

I was then told I had been entertaining New Vampires regularly at my “place of residence”.

My jaw dropped at this.  Someone must have seen the new New Vampire Representative enter my home and lose no time in selling on this information.

I mustered my composure and replied that only one New Vampire had entered my home and surely this is a matter for The Ruler’s Men.

There was uproar at this and when the room had quietened down an ally of mine called James asked me why even one New Vampire was entering my home.

I explained that it was the new New Vampire Representative who had come on business and that, as much as I wanted to, I had no grounds to refuse him as he was observing Old Vampire etiquette.

That drew murmurs from the crowd and looks of sympathy from my allies, because we all observe the proper etiquette and if they had been in my place could not have refused Darren entry.

I then remembered what I learnt from the Human Police Representative, looked them straight in their eyes and asked if they had any proof.

There were more mutters at this and so I asked if they had any eyewitnesses and the mutters dissipated somewhat.

So, I sighed and said that I was sorry they had gone to all this trouble on the strength of bad information, stood up and left.

Jane was waiting for me in a state of agitation when I came home and I had to spend some time dispelling her fears that we would be turned out of the house I own.  It is only New Vampires who act like mobs.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

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30
Apr
18

What Vampires Do


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I was recently asked what an Old Vampire does.  We do not “do” anything, we exist as we are

The human then asked what we did for a living.  With the exception of Michelle, myself and a few unfortunates, we do not work.

I have a j.o.b. at The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity and Michelle has a j.o.b. at the prison as someone must see to the needs of the Old Vampire prisoners who are kept there.

The unfortunate human received a half an hour lecture on what we actually do.  I will condense it down into a few paragraphs

We Old Vampires have money and do not need to work.  We spend time looking after our investments, hosting parties and spending time at our club.

It is a lovely existence and I wish I was still in that state.  However, I have no one but myself to blame.

Those of us who do work have been forced into it.  I would say “by means beyond our control” but we few Old Vampires who do work are those who have made bad plans or whose schemes have not come off.

While it pains me to have anything in common with Michelle, it is by our own hands that our downfall came about.

Michelle killed humans to bring about a return to the old ways and the job is part of her reformation.  She has not killed anyone important for one hundred years.

I carefully checked the reports on her eating habits myself before signing the documents which made me her supervisor, as my Status would fall if she returned to old ways.

I contracted a gambling habit, lost both money and castle and could not afford to turn down paid employment.

However, we do not enjoy these jobs and we both plan to remove ourselves from them.

We would not be Old Vampires if we were not planning such.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

17
Oct
17

Free


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I had asked for a divorce because I did not want to return to having a husband, especially not one who left me “to find himself” with his affairs in a mess.

The chances of obtaining a divorce were slim. I had not held out much hope and was glad of success.

I walked back through the streets of Portsmouth in a happy daze, so much so that I did not see the thug who wished to attack me until the last minute. I had the pleasure of drinking him and notified the proper channels. I later received confirmation that he had just got out of prison.

I got home to an anxious Jane, who was waiting for me (ostensibly dusting, but I know she had dusted those shelves yesterday) and who was overjoyed to hear the news.

I relaxed and gave Jane the night off in celebration. Within an hour, the knocks at my door started.

Now I am divorced, people cannot wait to congratulate me and tell me that they supported me all along. They brought food and drink and soon we were having quite a party.

At first, they were dismayed that I had given my only servant the night off, but as I pointed out, it was only proper to do so.

Soon they were trying their hands at everything from washing dishes to dusting. Most came away with a new appreciation of their servants. I suffered a few broken items, but that happens at any party.

We partied late into the morning, with people arriving and leaving and my small house was full to the brim with music, laughter and sex.

Jane also arrived home late into the morning looking worse for wear. I suspect that the Old Vampire servants have quietly supported my divorce ever since my ex-husband dragged Jane into it, which he really should not have done.

For the first time in my life, I am free.

Glossary
Bonded Wedding : Old Vampire marriage for political reasons
Common Status : the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire
Debutante Vampires : before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.
The Committee : see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity
The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity : a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans
Fence : an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing
The Hunters : see Vampire Hunters
Negatives : Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.
New Vampires : vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.
Notice : the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative
Obligation : when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say
Old Vampires : vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.
Parent : the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society
The Ruler’s Men : people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks
Shun : a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release
Sire : the vampire who made you a vampire
Status : a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands
Status Keeper : the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points
Thousands : Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points
Vampire Hunters : New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes
Vampire Servants : servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve
Walk into the sun : a euphemism for suicide

15
May
17

Queries


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

Querents sometimes ask questions of me at parties. Sometimes this is because the information or resolution they require is too sensitive to be entrusted to a letter. These types of queries are researched into and I reply by word of mouth.

Often the queries are not as sensitive as the querent thinks, but I treat all queries as the querent does.

While I have a computer at my office, it is mainly used to answer queries from Michelle, who has my old job at the prison and it is also used to write this blog.

If an Old Vampire sent an enquiry by computer I would answer it by computer.

At the moment that is impossible as Michelle and I are the only Old Vampires who have computers. Most of Michelle’s queries are about them as we cannot have her human colleagues at the prison having more knowledge of computers than she does.

A record of my answer always goes to The Ruler’s Men who collect it in person. If I have advised the querent by word of mouth I write the answer out in the presence of The Ruler’s Men and give them the only copy.

Unfortunately the queries are often to do with what laws we can pass against werewolves. I hear them out and pass them on to The Ruler’s Men as laws are not my remit. I suspect they have a special file for them.

On rare occasions the queries are truly sensitive. These involve information of which it would be injurious or very expensive to the querent if the information were to become public knowledge.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

16
Feb
17

Initiating Proceedings


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

Initiating Proceedings

I have initiated divorce proceedings today so I can divorce Jeremy. It has taken me a while to research Old Vampire Judges so I can have someone who will hear my case.

A Judge is one of the few respectable professions in Old Vampire society, as we need people who can step in when a fence has finished and one of the parties involved is not happy with the result. People killing one another means less revenue for The Ruler.

The unhappy party can take his or her case before the Judge, who will hear from both parties and pronounce the finding, which will inform both parties what is needed to be done, or if nothing is to be done, then the judge will say that one or other party was “in the right”, which means correct in what they did.

All parties have to abide by the Judge’s finding and take the matter no further. I have never heard of an Old Vampire who did take the matter further. If they did, the Judge would be within their rights to kill them.

Every Old Vampire Judge will be chomping at the bit to hear this case as it is breaking new ground, so I had to be very careful who I chose as they would all say they were the correct person to hear the case.

Everyone including The Judges will think it is a great scandal. The Judges will not care as long as they are the one to hear it.

Unfortunately this means that the unchosen Judges will be enemies of mine and I do not have the means to convince them otherwise.

The Judge I chose is Henry Mortimer. He has a record of hearing “unusual” cases and nearly all of the parties heard by him report satisfaction with the judgement.

We have set a date for a hearing and he is going to contact Jeremy. Jeremy will not be happy, but he will have to abide by the judge’s ruling. If he does not turn up he will forfeit all.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

02
Feb
17

Irritation


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I find my servant Jane irritating at times, but not as much as I did my husband, who irritated me so much that I could have screamed at him.

Jane’s drink preferences and singing are all that irritates me about her and the odd irritation from a good servant must be endured, although I have put an embargo on all Christmas music until December begins.

Jane has started singing the latest songs from the hit parade instead, which I cannot say is much of an improvement.

My husband irritated me by locking himself in his study and did not communicate what he was doing or whom he was writing letters to.

I had to wait and find out the consequences of his actions, never dreaming that he would choose to walk away from all he had to “find himself”.

This itself irritates me beyond belief as in the first case, it is ridiculous for an Old Vampire to do.

It would not be beneath a New Vampire to ape humans like this, which they are wont to do.

In the second case, I was left to pick up the pieces and pay all his debts.

I had been treated as the little woman in this marriage for all of my life, not allowed to know what was going on and having to be content to sit and entertain guests.

It more than irritates me that he expected to come back and find everything as before with card decks out on green tables.

I, who have always gambled have not even picked up a deck of cards for years. Jane aids me in scrupulously keeping the house free of such things.

I am gradually building up investments and a portfolio, so I can return to owning a castle and having more than one servant.

I have my own life now; even though it is not the life an Old Vampire should have, it is mine.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

12
Jan
17

Work and Play


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I have been absent from this blog for too long and have recently been reminded about my writing duties.

I have, of course, been partying and enjoying the season without having to get up in the daytime to go to w.o.r.k. and have found it even more enjoyable now I can sleep after the parties.

Since I no longer work in the daytime I have more invitations to parties and am able to accept more. For an Old Vampire there is no such thing as accepting too many invitations.

So the blood flowed and I talked to allies and enemies alike and bought and sold information.

I felt like an Old Vampire again for the first time in a long time, although I did have to put down a few jabs about living in a semi-detached house. Some of those were from Jeremy. Since he is my husband I was obliged to offer to take him with me to all invitations I had accepted, which is something that irked me greatly.

Let me reassure some of you that I have been in to the office to process paperwork and deal with any messages left for me, but an Old Vampire always works at parties and I got a lot of work done.

Few messages were left for me at my office when people could stop me at a party and ask.

Most of what I deal with are trivial queries which can be answered in a minute. If the querent asks me face to face it does not require any paperwork on my part.

Few matters require much time and attention, but the position of Old Vampire Representative on The Committee needs to be filled for such as those and to liaise with other representatives, which keeps we undead hidden from humans, who would rise up and kill us if they knew we existed and how many of them we kill.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide




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