Posts Tagged ‘jane

09
Jun
17

Divorce


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

It has come to light that Jeremy was involving my servant Jane in our divorce because I have his personal possessions, which he left when he went to “find himself”.

I had put them in a storage unit and forgot about them when I moved from a castle to a house. Jeremy would naturally like them back and erroneously thought Jane held the key.

 

I have repeatedly told him that servants must not be given access to information, as no matter how good they are they will sell it on the side.

 

Of course, I made copies and took photographs of his personal items when I put them in storage. I keep the key on me at all times as I did not want the income from their sale to go to Jane.

Now these copies will stand me in good stead for my divorce as they incriminate Jeremy in his plans t disappear without a word to me.

Old Vampires have disappeared and reappeared for centuries, but that has been when they have been chased by mobs and often spouses have ended up in different countries, only to meet up a long time later.

Jeremy planned this a decade before it happened and made sure I would be left to sort out his financial mess.

 

He was hoping to come back to a superbly run castle and was shocked to find the circumstances I have had to lower myself to. He has had to fall back on staying with friends.

 

My Judge has set the date for our hearing in a month from now. I have mailed Jeremy’s key to him with the address of the storage unit as he has asked. It does not behoove me to have any direct communication with him and I do not wish him to bother Jane.

 

Thankfully his request came via one of the butlers who are overseeing Jane’s training and not Jeremy shouting at my Servant.

 

Glossary

 

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

 

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

 

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

 

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

 

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

 

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

 

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

 

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

 

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

 

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

 

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

 

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

 

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

 

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

 

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

 

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

 

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

 

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

 

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

 

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

 

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

 

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

 

 

02
Mar
17

Fallout


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

People have heard that I am divorcing Jeremy.

The reaction mainly falls into two camps : the first are those who tell me that I am so brave to do this and invite me to their parties for the entertainment I can give.

The second are those who condemn me for not being a “proper vampire” or a “good wife” and cross the street when they see me.

I have never aspired to be a good wife and I ask the men telling me this if they are good husbands. Then they fluster and splutter and make excuses.

As usual, it is more difficult dealing with the condemnation of the women. I have had to hold my head up under scorn and censure.

Adele helps with some of it, as my worth as an Obligatee will diminish if I do not come out of this well.

Henry, who is hearing this case, tells me to ignore them. He is dining out on this case and will make much capital out of it whatever is decided. He does not have face any detractors and is enjoying himself to the full.

To say Jeremy is unhappy is an understatement. He turned up at my house shouting and swearing at my poor servant Jane.

She did not know what to do and I was unavailable, so she called the Human Representative on the Committee, who is also a Policeman. With the threat of arrest hanging over Jeremy he was forced to retreat and I now owe Andy a considerable favour.

This behaviour will not look good to a Judge, as we do not involve Servants in our affairs.

Unfortunately Jane has come under scrutiny because of this incident and my divorce.

Fortunately senior servants have decided that she cannot be held responsible for her employers’ whims and peccadillos (their words!) and upheld her conduct. Apparently they are revising their Code of Conduct because of this incident.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

02
Feb
17

Irritation


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I find my servant Jane irritating at times, but not as much as I did my husband, who irritated me so much that I could have screamed at him.

Jane’s drink preferences and singing are all that irritates me about her and the odd irritation from a good servant must be endured, although I have put an embargo on all Christmas music until December begins.

Jane has started singing the latest songs from the hit parade instead, which I cannot say is much of an improvement.

My husband irritated me by locking himself in his study and did not communicate what he was doing or whom he was writing letters to.

I had to wait and find out the consequences of his actions, never dreaming that he would choose to walk away from all he had to “find himself”.

This itself irritates me beyond belief as in the first case, it is ridiculous for an Old Vampire to do.

It would not be beneath a New Vampire to ape humans like this, which they are wont to do.

In the second case, I was left to pick up the pieces and pay all his debts.

I had been treated as the little woman in this marriage for all of my life, not allowed to know what was going on and having to be content to sit and entertain guests.

It more than irritates me that he expected to come back and find everything as before with card decks out on green tables.

I, who have always gambled have not even picked up a deck of cards for years. Jane aids me in scrupulously keeping the house free of such things.

I am gradually building up investments and a portfolio, so I can return to owning a castle and having more than one servant.

I have my own life now; even though it is not the life an Old Vampire should have, it is mine.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

31
Aug
16

Telephone


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

Telephone

This new technology of the telephone is changing everything.

I used to answer queries with a letter. If the query was urgent, there would be a servant standing and waiting for a reply, but that was a rare occurrence.

Then the Hunters started decimating Old Vampires and speed of information was at a premium, so Old Vampires started to use and got used to having the telephone at their disposal.

Now I have people telephoning me at the drop of a hat, expecting me to drop everything and answer their query this very minute.

Whereas beforehand some information could be deemed not very important and left to digest for a couple of weeks, nowadays I may get someone telephoning with a query about it and have to read it as soon as it comes in.

It makes my job on The Committee more pressured and I complained to The Ruler’s Men about this, citing the fact that The Ruler’s Men will also have to respond to information more quickly.

If not they will have Old Vampires telephoning them up until they have responded.

I fear it is a habit that they now will not break and so my life has become more difficult.

Old Vampire Servants used to fly over with messages about meetings; the higher your Status was the more important the servant would be who was sent.

Now I worry that they will lose their flying skills as they are doing hardly any flying because they now pick up the telephone and arrange these meetings instead.

I send my servant Jane out to fly regularly and fly myself.  As I realised when I had a fence, these skills must be kept up or they are not there when needed and much time will be spent obtaining them.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

27
Nov
15

Christmas


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

My colleagues have already been talking about Christmas, which should be a four-letter word.

I loathe and despise it. Unfortunately my servant Jane as well as my colleagues adore it and the adoration has spread to The Committee.

Nosferatu, the New Vampire Representative, is trying to get us to go out for Christmas drinks.

I have refused, as the Human Police Representative, Andy, and I will have to escort the Old Vampire who killed humans into the prison and make sure his needs are attended to.

Sasha, the Werewolf Representative, is talking about Christmas decorations in our meetings.

Andy has forestalled her by quoting Health and Safety at her. I am quite sure that this is nonsense, but I backed him up as I would like to see one place where there are no decorations.

It will be impossible in my house as Jane is already organising them, as well as Christmas cake and pudding. At least she has stopped moping, however I am not sure that the singing of Christmas carols is an improvement.

I have drawn the line at putting on one of those stupid hats, although I have told Jane that she is at liberty to wear what she wants within the bounds of decency and taste.

At least I have the refuge of my club. I checked with their butler and thankfully the very idea they might have anything to do with Christmas shocked him. I then had to tip him so he would get over the shock.

Unfortunately I am unable to do any work on behalf of Old Vampires in my club, as I cannot risk another Old Vampire “overseeing” any documents that I may be working on.

Otherwise I would be patronising my club every spare moment I have and a lot of moments I don’t have.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

20
Apr
15

Vicars


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

 I have met vicars and while some of them, especially the Celts, have fire in convictions, voice and soul most of them are a poor breed.

With these only the cross they wear prevents me from touching them and that makes me realise they are not a danger to me.

The real vicars, or true believers when they are wearing the cross, I have had to cross the road to avoid.

It starts with an uncomfortable feeling which progresses in intensity as they come nearer and nearer to you.

Unfortunately the older you are, the more uncomfortable you feel. It is thought that exposure to people who really believe sensitises Old Vampires to this feeling.

My New Vampire informant tells me that while New Vampires do not feel uncomfortable, they dislike crosses on principle and will not go near them.

Many Old Vampires have had to live with the daily sight of crosses and it is thought that the revulsion it initially causes has gone elsewhere.

Certainly debutante Old Vampires revile the cross, but part of their teaching is to live with the sight of it.

Old Vampire Servants are taught this as well. Jane tells me when she was a New Vampire she avoided crosses with the rest of them.

When she became an Old Vampire Servant she was inured to their sight, but now cannot go near certain shops as they are too near a church or cathedral.

I have mentioned this to other Old Vampires, but it is dismissed because she is a servant.

I opened my mouth to say her point was valid, but closed it soon when I realised that my stock is low enough without placing validity on a servant’s viewpoint.

I have not even thought of mentioning what my New Vampire informant said.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

02
Feb
15

Hunting on Horseback


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

We do not often get to hunt on horseback these days; it draws too much attention to us as horses are a rarity, so we enjoy it when we do for the novelty value.

I much prefer to hunt on horseback; there are more options than using cars, although unfortunately these days we have to avoid fast roads and can lose prey because of this.

We can also lose prey on horseback if the prey hides successfully from us in hedges or other countryside features.

Fortunately most humans live in towns and thus do not know about this, whereas it used to be common in the past.

We can only really use horses in the country, as they are too conspicuous in towns and could not get beyond a walking pace.

In towns we are actually faster on foot than on horses, so we only use horseback for the fun of it.

I find it exhilarating to ride with the wind in my hair, following prey until I catch up with them and dispatch them.

Unfortunately horses are expensive, so I use one of my Obligatees’ horses. People are always borrowing horses from one another, so my lack of horse has not yet been noted.

It is one of the things that I miss about not having any money. My servant Jane has expressed a wish to care for horses and I would be delighted to oblige her, but money only goes so far.

In the past it would have been male servants who took care of horses, but I only have one servant, so Jane would have to take care of the horses.

I might be able to stretch to buying a broken-down nag, but there is such a thing as standards and I would prefer to have the best, which of course are expensive.

Of course, a servant could not ride a horse except in exceptional circumstances and especially not in the Wild Hunt.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide




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