Posts Tagged ‘nosferatu

15
Mar
17

Committee


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

Nosferatu, the New Vampire Representative, has heard about my divorce.

He spent the last meeting of The Committee making remarks about it, until Sasha, who is the Werewolf Representative, said that she didn’t care if I was or was not getting divorced as long as he “shut his trap” about it.

Rather a crass comment to make, but the sentiment behind it is an admirable one.

Since it was followed up by a snarl and bare of teeth, Nosferatu shut up. Although the fact that it was close to the full moon may have had something to do with that.

Andy, the Human Representative, expressed his sympathies then when I said that I was glad to be rid of my husband looked confused and a silence descended upon the meeting.

It seems that whether you are undead or human, a woman must have a man. Of course, a man can function perfectly well on his own.

I do not know why this is. I have been functioning perfectly well without Jeremy and since Old Vampires do not feel emotions I have no need to be wedded to any man just for the sake of tradition.

People have been muttering at me that it will “end the sanctity of marriage”. I think these people have been around humans too much.

If there is a financial or a political reason for Old Vampires to get married, then even if they do not care about tradition (which is highly unlikely) they will still get married.

If Jeremy could provide me with a castle and thus restore me to the way of life we used to enjoy then I would not be initiating divorce.

Unfortunately in his haste to “find himself” he got rid of all “ties that could bind me” which includes financial and property constraints, if there would have been anything left after his debts had been called in.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

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12
Oct
16

Nosferatu


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I have had to teach the New Vampire representative, Nosferatu, a lesson he will not forget in a hurry. Pity the bruises will soon fade.

I had a telephone call two nights ago from Michelle, who is doing my old job in the prison.

It seems Nosferatu walked into the Education Department she works in and started ordering her around.

Of course, she refused to follow any of his orders; this resulted in uproar in the Department and Michelle being called in by her human bosses and given a telling off.

Naturally, she was most upset about all this and unable to do anything about this situation as she was worried it would incur my wrath and that of the Kings’ Men, which was quite proper.

First, I reassured her that she had done the correct thing, especially as she could not let Nosferatu walk all over her.

I also reassured her that Nosferatu was acting completely outside his remit as New Vampire Representative and thus he was liable for what he had done.

I added that I would deal with him personally. This achieved several things : it makes Michelle an ally, gives me great personal satisfaction and reminds the prison that while I am, to all extents and purposes gone, they should not forget me.

After teaching Nosferatu a lesson and him shrieking that I would not hear the last of it I marched him to Michelle to apologise for what he had done in private. I would have liked a public apology, but that would have been a step too far.

I talked to Michelle’s employers after Nosferatu had withdrawn what he had done and affirmed that while he was important (I nearly choked on this) he was not responsible in any way, shape or form for Michelle and the only people she is beholden to are themselves and myself.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

27
Nov
15

Christmas


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

My colleagues have already been talking about Christmas, which should be a four-letter word.

I loathe and despise it. Unfortunately my servant Jane as well as my colleagues adore it and the adoration has spread to The Committee.

Nosferatu, the New Vampire Representative, is trying to get us to go out for Christmas drinks.

I have refused, as the Human Police Representative, Andy, and I will have to escort the Old Vampire who killed humans into the prison and make sure his needs are attended to.

Sasha, the Werewolf Representative, is talking about Christmas decorations in our meetings.

Andy has forestalled her by quoting Health and Safety at her. I am quite sure that this is nonsense, but I backed him up as I would like to see one place where there are no decorations.

It will be impossible in my house as Jane is already organising them, as well as Christmas cake and pudding. At least she has stopped moping, however I am not sure that the singing of Christmas carols is an improvement.

I have drawn the line at putting on one of those stupid hats, although I have told Jane that she is at liberty to wear what she wants within the bounds of decency and taste.

At least I have the refuge of my club. I checked with their butler and thankfully the very idea they might have anything to do with Christmas shocked him. I then had to tip him so he would get over the shock.

Unfortunately I am unable to do any work on behalf of Old Vampires in my club, as I cannot risk another Old Vampire “overseeing” any documents that I may be working on.

Otherwise I would be patronising my club every spare moment I have and a lot of moments I don’t have.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

23
Oct
15

Meeting


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

Andy, the Human Police Representative, is finally talking to me.

This is mainly due to a Committee meeting where the subject of the killer was brought up.

Sasha, the Werewolf Representative, was horrified and we had a diatribe of an hour on what were we going to do about it and why hadn’t we caught the killer yet.

It was best to let her get it out of her system rather than change the subject and have her raise it at a later date.

Nosferatu, the New Vampire Representative, sat there looking smug and pleased with himself.

Fortunately he made a joke about the situation, which was the reason I needed to wipe the smile off his face and he soon found himself flat on the floor with some bones broken rather painfully.

Unfortunately he will heal. I only hope that the damage I have done is sufficient to slow healing down.

He shrieked for Andy to intervene, but Andy remarked that he did not have any authority over fights between vampires, only when there were humans involved and thus could not do anything.

Nosferatu has since attempted to have me censured for this, but due to the circumstances of the fight, no-one is at all interested.

I also added insult to injury and commented that I could see why New Vampires could not possibly have done this as they were not capable.

Of course, this left him in a seething heap on the floor, from which he summoned assistance and left.

The atmosphere of the meeting became relaxed after this, which is a first since I have been attending.

Then again, for once all the Representatives in the room were in agreement, if only on one thing; we all want this killer stopped.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

18
May
15

The Hunters


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I have recently heard it said at parties that The Hunters are dead and buried.

Not literally; but people think the organisation as a whole is defunct and is only a tale to frighten debutante vampires.

My opinion is that it is just waiting until it can surface again and sink its teeth into us. Others dismiss this as a chilling thought; I prefer to prepare for the worst.

I quizzed Nosferatu, the New Vampire representative. Of course he would not tell me anything, but when I asked he did let slip some telling details.

The Committee passed the law that allows The Hunters to hunt us, so we can look for no help in that quarter, as neither the Human Police nor the werewolves are at all bothered about vampires hunting other vampires as long as we do not expose our existence to the humans.

In fact, they would be quite happy if we wiped each other out. Then werewolves could co-exist peacefully with humans and everyone could sing in perfect harmony, which is as likely as your latest government being beloved throughout the land.

At the moment The Hunters are posing around the streets, turning up near our castles and making threatening noises.

People see this as typical New Vampire behaviour : all of the looks, but none of the substance.

It is only the fact that our Ruler took action and decimated The Hunters that keeps them from hunting us.

If we changed Rulers, which we rarely do, they would try to hunt us again, so now they wait.

New Vampires do manage to wait well, especially the longer-lived ones and if they saw an opportunity would seize it by the jugular, just as we are waiting for an opportunity to get rid of them.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

23
Mar
15

Committee Meeting


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

The last Committee meeting was a quiet one. Sometimes we have nothing to report on non-human activity and this is one of the quiet times.

I suspect it is largely down to the continuing cold weather, especially as the Werewolf Representative was hunkered down in her chair in a thick coat, despite the heating.

I neither commented on nor asked about this as it is not the done thing. We all have peccadilloes common to our species and none of us wants them on show.

Unfortunately we must have a proper meeting for at least an hour without killing or injuring one another, which is much more likely than sharing tea and having a sing-song.

So we let Nosferatu, the New Vampire representative, drone on about his latest pet project. The fool wants to know exactly which New Vampires are in the country.

I openly laughed when he said this fifteen minutes into his speech, as it is a impossible task with beings that can fly.

Our Status Keeper has a good idea of whom is residing in Britain, but does not know about visitors and we Old Vampires have a habit of dropping off the map for a few decades to throw humans off the scent, then surfacing and fitting right back into our lives.

Of course Nosferatu was furious with me and had another brainless rant, which took care of another half an hour.

It would have been shorter, but the Police Representative kept interjecting inflammatory comments to keep things going.

He eventually calmed down and the rest of us thought it a good idea to leave.

It would have been a good idea an hour ago, but someone decided it was the right length for a meeting.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

08
Dec
14

Columbine


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

Columbine, my New Vampire contact, has finally deigned to impart some real information.

She has confirmed that New Vampires will drink the blood of anything. Apparently they cannot be choosy if they wish to survive.

It took me half an hour to get this information out of her. I suspect that lack of contact has turned her mind.

Beforehand it was all hints and mysterious portents. If she had been a human I would have had her investigated for drug taking.

This information may not seem like much to you; I will be able to dine out on such information for a while.

Having lost my castle, my Status is low and many think that I am not a real Old Vampire but will not dare say it to my face. In such times, I must make use of scraps such as this.

Nosferatu, the New Vampire representative, is supposed to be talking to all New Vampires in prison on a regular basis but is not doing so.

I will bring this up at the next Committee meeting and revel in giving him a difficult meeting.

Meanwhile I will continue to talk to Columbine. A vampire of any sort on a rampage because they are mad through lack of blood is extremely difficult to contain and often very expensive.

I have telephoned The Ruler’s Men and advised them of the situation; they have concurred with my judgement, although they were surprised at my use of the telephone. I only used it because we needed to act on this quickly.

We should be able to get considerable political mileage out of this situation : after all, we are doing the New Vampires’ work for them and unlike humans, we will not do it for free.

While I am not surprised that New Vampires are lax in their attention to their duties, this one can have serious repercussions.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide




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