Archive for the 'Work' Category

26
Apr
17

Reduction in Posting


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

It has been noted that the posts of this blog have decreased to bi-weekly and readers have been asking why.

I would prefer to write a weekly post, but the increased influx of requests coming into my office to be dealt with, plus Old Vampires now expect their requests to be dealt with more promptly now the telephone is commonplace in our lives, means that my workload is greater.

Sometimes I get requests from New Vampires. These requests are generated because they are not getting satisfaction from their representative. It expands my sphere of influence to answer them as best as I can.

If an Old Vampire was not getting satisfaction from one of my answers (this does happen from time to time) they would appeal to The Ruler’s Men, who would investigate.

Such investigations are always time consuming. Sometimes the result is that I am cleared, other times I am found to be at fault and corrective action is taken.

I am expected to have enough time to do my job as Old Vampire Representative on The Committee.

If I do not have time, then I have to take it up with The Ruler’s Men and account for every second of my night.

Thankfully The Ruler did not specify how often I was to write this blog, so I write it around my other duties.

I hope my work will consume less of my time and I will be able to write more.

Maybe soon that the party season is nearly over as the nights are waning with the day’s increase, I will then be able to write more.

I remind the reader of this blog that parties are work for Old Vampires.

Few of the questions I am asked, especially as the night grows old, are pertinent. Of the ones that are pertinent, the querent needs to ask but would not dare to write a letter.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

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12
Oct
16

Nosferatu


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I have had to teach the New Vampire representative, Nosferatu, a lesson he will not forget in a hurry. Pity the bruises will soon fade.

I had a telephone call two nights ago from Michelle, who is doing my old job in the prison.

It seems Nosferatu walked into the Education Department she works in and started ordering her around.

Of course, she refused to follow any of his orders; this resulted in uproar in the Department and Michelle being called in by her human bosses and given a telling off.

Naturally, she was most upset about all this and unable to do anything about this situation as she was worried it would incur my wrath and that of the Kings’ Men, which was quite proper.

First, I reassured her that she had done the correct thing, especially as she could not let Nosferatu walk all over her.

I also reassured her that Nosferatu was acting completely outside his remit as New Vampire Representative and thus he was liable for what he had done.

I added that I would deal with him personally. This achieved several things : it makes Michelle an ally, gives me great personal satisfaction and reminds the prison that while I am, to all extents and purposes gone, they should not forget me.

After teaching Nosferatu a lesson and him shrieking that I would not hear the last of it I marched him to Michelle to apologise for what he had done in private. I would have liked a public apology, but that would have been a step too far.

I talked to Michelle’s employers after Nosferatu had withdrawn what he had done and affirmed that while he was important (I nearly choked on this) he was not responsible in any way, shape or form for Michelle and the only people she is beholden to are themselves and myself.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

05
Oct
16

Talk


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I have had a little talk with Michelle, who is taking over my former job at the prison, which left her properly chastened.

We agree on the fact that my former colleagues at the prison should be killed, but I cannot have her reverting to her old behaviour of killing humans who will be missed.

I am sure The Ruler’s Men will have said something to her, but it is right and proper to let her know that if it happens, I will not let her get away with such behaviour.

I also introduced her to Columbine, my New Vampire contact in the prison. We share similar views on Columbine : as much as I deplore Michelle, she is an Old Vampire.

I will continue to visit Columbine. After all, she may part with some valuable information for the small price of half an hour spent with her.

Other Old Vampires would opine that no information any New Vampire gives away has any value, but with my lack of money I must snatch at any crumbs which may come my way.

I have also had to teach Michelle how to use a computer. Old Vampires do not use computers, so you must first teach her how to switch the computer on and such basic things that any human child knows.

She is not lacking in intelligence and took to it well. I have given her my telephone number and my email address (which has mainly been unused so far) for any queries as we cannot have her asking the humans for help, especially my ex-colleagues.

I have instructed Michelle in her new duties. As well as administrative support she is tasked with delivering blood to the Old Vampires residing in the prison and talking to them.

Of course, that did not go down well with her as Old Vampire prisoners are criminals. She now understands why she has been given the job she will do.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

24
Aug
16

Working with Humans


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

Working with humans is absolutely vile.  They find ways to shirk duties and disappear off ostensibly on business, but in reality they waste time talking to friends.

Meanwhile, I am left doing all the drudge tasks at work.  I am here to do my job and end up doing the filing.

It is a good thing there are other Old Vampires to talk to, which unlike what the humans do, is part of my duties.

Old Vampires who are in prison cannot socialise with human prisoners.

If a fight broke out, an Old Vampire is stronger than a human and could easily kill, by accident or design.

If it was self defence, the Old Vampire would not be blamed, but it would take some explaining.

Also Old Vampires do not want to socialise with human criminals, as we see all criminals as beneath us.  If an Old Vampire prisoner did not talk to anyone they would go mad.

Part of the problem in my work is that the humans do not wish to talk to me and I do not wish to talk to the humans.

So I do my duties in silence, listening out for any information that could be useful to me.

Often it is, especially if I am around the corner doing filing.  Old Vampires’ ears hear much better than humans’ do, so it is not difficult to know everything that goes on in the department that I am in.

This is how I survive.  By listening to talk and dropping a word in the ears of those I work for from time to time.

If I did not, they would oust me from my place and ask for another Old Vampire to work at this prison.

I would be happy to give up work, but I need the money, which is how I came to be asked politely by The Ruler’s Men to take up this position in the first place.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

12
Nov
15

Returning to Normal


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

Unfortunately things are returning to normal. Invitations to parties are dying down to their normal level and I have returned to w.o.r.k.

At work I have been asked how I am, as my cover is that I was off ill, but we did not specify what my illness was as we did not know how long it would take to track the killer down.

After conferring with Andy, who is the Human Police Representative, we decided to say I had influenza with complications.

Apparently humans never go into details of disease and this has been proved true.

Unfortunately I have a lot to do at w.o.r.k., as of course my colleagues have not covered for me; just let things drift so my desk is currently covered in paper.

My colleagues are solicitous in only the way human women who are really not interested in you are.

I give them two weeks before they return to their usual obstructive and annoying selves.

Thankfully influenza can take a lot of recuperation, so my Human managers are not asking me many questions about my work and will not expect me to be Superwoman for a few weeks yet.

My servant Jane is not going out as much as she used to and seems to be moping because of it.

I have told her to buck up as if she was serving in a castle, as is normal, she would not get the opportunities she currently enjoys as they would be the prerogative of the butler.

Unfortunately this did not seem to work and I will just have to wait until she stops moping.

I am not surprised that none of the Old Vampires associated with the killer have returned. A week is a very short time for Old Vampires. I am still getting many anxious telephone calls about these, but unfortunately there is nothing I can do.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

02
Aug
15

More About the Complaint


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

Many of you will remember that my New Vampire contact, Columbine, made a complaint about me.

The supervision against me has lapsed into nothing, probably because no human really wants to associate with vampire prisoners of any kind, knowing that they are very dangerous to them.

Also every one of the Old Vampire prisoners has had fun making the human supervisor feel uneasy.

They do not seem to understand that blood is a matter between Old Vampires, unless the humans are the blood.

I have asked about the complaint, but my manager makes excuses. A complaint needs to be dealt with promptly so that the people involved do not overspend time on it; it should not drag on because the humans involved find it easier to let it lapse than do anything about it.

Unfortunately this is not something I can involve The Ruler in, as it is part of working with humans and most of them do not know that I am an Old Vampire.

I am sure The Ruler knows about it, as he keeps a close eye on anyone who works for him, but would only interfere with my work if it was to do with vampires or in an emergency.

So I am stuck with a situation which can resurface at any time on the whim of a mere human.

Bribery of humans in this country is against the rules. If any human whom I worked with was to disappear the finger would be pointed at me.

I do not care to lose my job as it does provide some income and I need every penny if I am to get back my castle.

What is the good of being an Old Vampire if I cannot do anything about this situation?

We are meant to be powerful beings, but yet I cannot do anything about humans who are mere prey.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

02
Mar
15

Change


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

The worst thing about my w.o.r.k. is the constant change. We have had six teachers leave in three months and in the last seven years we have had five Education Managers at this prison.

Even by human standards this is a bit much. I am only just beginning to settle in to a new employer, working out their quirks and foibles and then they change again.

The teachers do not matter as they are merely human and do not affect my work as long as they give me the paperwork I need from them. If they do not, I can always find ways to persuade them.

The worst thing is chirpy humans saying “change is good”. No, change is not good, it leads to a department where people are bumbling along from one day to another, trying to do their best and failing because they are handicapped by the circumstances.

My servant Jane was shocked when I told her about this. She has been a servant for well over a century and I am her second employer, which is quite common in Old Vampire circles.

I realise that there are things that should not be discussed with a servant, but who can I discuss working with when I am the only Old Vampire who works?

Many Old Vampires these days own companies, but they do not work and hire directors instead to do all the work.

If it were not for the fact that The Ruler asked me to take this position my social invitations would be quickly heading towards zero.

This was not done out of kindness, as no Old Vampire is ever kind. This is because I must be able to work for Old Vampires and if it is difficult to talk to them it will be impossible to work for them except if it is an emergency and they have no-one to turn to. If that is the case, the situation will be very bad indeed.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide




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