Archive for the 'Work' Category

22
May
18

Reporting to The Ruler


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

Readers will have noticed that the frequency in my posts has been somewhat erratic of late.

This is because The Ruler has tasked me with reporting on the Debutante Vampires in Britain.

My readers may remember that it was a Debutante Vampire who killed prominent humans last year.

Before this, people were saying that standards of training had dropped.

I took little notice of this, as I have my own problems and also because it is a complaint I have heard every decade since I have been an Old Vampire.

It seems that this complaint, coupled with the results of the interviews The Ruler’s Men have had with The Human Killer, have spurred on our Ruler to act with unprecedented speed.

Because of this I have been recently tasked with a new duty: to make an inspection of the Debutantes we have.

A list of the few we have is supplied to me by the Status Keeper and I now travel yearly to interview them.

I have until the end of the year to interview each Debutante, but when I enquired I was informed that it was up to my discretion when I carry out each interview.

The task is a pleasant one; an opportunity to live in a castle for a week per Debutante and see how their training is carried out.

Jane was not best pleased to be back in a castle again but has hidden her displeasure with good grace.

As for myself, it gives me opportunities to cement old allies, make new ones and to make enemies afraid.

My enemies know I would not give false report of training; with good reason they are afraid of what information my servant and I will find out while I am here.

Glossary
Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons
Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire
Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.
The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity
The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans
Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing
The Hunters see Vampire Hunters
Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.
New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.
Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative
Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say
Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.
Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society
The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks
Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release
Sire the vampire who made you a vampire
Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands
Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points
Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points
Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes
Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve
Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

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10
May
18

My Office


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

When I joined The Committee, I furnished my office as Old Vampires would expect to find it.

Offices are not natural haunts of Old Vampires. They are rooms in which servants would conduct business, but not Old Vampires.

If an Old Vampire is sitting across from me, it is only because their business cannot be pursued at the club and I must make them comfortable.

I must have a desk to work at, but it is the traditional wood and green found in many a castle at which any Old Vampire would pursue business.

The drawers mainly hold a choice selection of cigars, cigarettes and cigarillos for my clients. My laptop hides away there from my customers and my telephone is unplugged and put away when they arrive.

I keep a choice selection of drink in a cabinet. One of the butlers who is supervising my servant Jane’s training asked permission to use it. I agreed with the proviso that he would make any suggestions necessary, which greatly pleased him.

I have a chaise longue and sofa on the other side of the desk for my clients’ ease. The carpets are Turkish and the floor is piled high with them. Some clients prefer to sit on them, in which case I join them and the hookah pipe is brought out for our enjoyment.

Thanks to the new invention of the telephone, I can have Jane travel to my office to dispense drink and smokes, then sit and take notes.

While the two paintings on the walls are not Monet nor Renoir, they are the only serviceable items the previous incumbent left behind. The rest of the furnishings came from my castle before it was sold.

The last incumbent wished to make his clients leave as soon as possible so he could pursue his own interests, but if that happens I will not be told what I need to know so I can obtain a good resolution for my clients.

Glossary
Bonded Wedding : Old Vampire marriage for political reasons
Common Status : the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire
Debutante Vampires : before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.
The Committee : see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity
The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity : a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans
Fence : an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing
The Hunters : see Vampire Hunters
Negatives : Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.
New Vampires : vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.
Notice : the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative
Obligation : when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say
Old Vampires : vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.
Parent : the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society
The Ruler’s Men : people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks
Shun : a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release
Sire : the vampire who made you a vampire
Status : a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands
Status Keeper : the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points
Thousands : Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points
Vampire Hunters : New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes
Vampire Servants : servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve
Walk into the sun : a euphemism for suicide

14
Feb
18

Return


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I apologise for the enforced gap between when I last wrote and now.

An Old Vampire, grateful to myself for removing a problem with the local werewolves, organised a holiday in Russia as a reward.

The problem had been easy enough to remove; I talked to the Werewolf Representative and it turned out that the pack had been a thorn in her side and she was glad of any excuse to discipline them.

Michelle, who took over my job in the prison, was glad to take over my duties and I spent a day briefing her.

Unfortunately, her attitude towards me has worsened; I did not have time to address this before I left, but I will do so soon.

As usual, I had to endure my servant Jane in a heightened state of excitement.  Her taste in music has not improved.

Until she worked for me she did not visit other countries, whereas I have visited all European countries, a few Asian and African ones and I went to the Americas once.

I am pleased to say that my hosts commented favourably on Jane’s behaviour; the lessons she has been receiving from various Old Vampire Butlers have improved her and when I next see them I will tip them over-generously.

She is in an unusual position as she is the only servant to an Old Vampire and they do not want her to let the side down, so according to them and I, her lessons are mandatory.

The holiday itself was most enjoyable and I was able to strengthen connections between British and Russian Old Vampires.

Jane also strengthened connections between British and Russian Old Vampire Servants.  It is not for me to ask why, but I can make an educated guess.

You never know when you will need connections in a tight spot.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

26
Apr
17

Reduction in Posting


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

It has been noted that the posts of this blog have decreased to bi-weekly and readers have been asking why.

I would prefer to write a weekly post, but the increased influx of requests coming into my office to be dealt with, plus Old Vampires now expect their requests to be dealt with more promptly now the telephone is commonplace in our lives, means that my workload is greater.

Sometimes I get requests from New Vampires. These requests are generated because they are not getting satisfaction from their representative. It expands my sphere of influence to answer them as best as I can.

If an Old Vampire was not getting satisfaction from one of my answers (this does happen from time to time) they would appeal to The Ruler’s Men, who would investigate.

Such investigations are always time consuming. Sometimes the result is that I am cleared, other times I am found to be at fault and corrective action is taken.

I am expected to have enough time to do my job as Old Vampire Representative on The Committee.

If I do not have time, then I have to take it up with The Ruler’s Men and account for every second of my night.

Thankfully The Ruler did not specify how often I was to write this blog, so I write it around my other duties.

I hope my work will consume less of my time and I will be able to write more.

Maybe soon that the party season is nearly over as the nights are waning with the day’s increase, I will then be able to write more.

I remind the reader of this blog that parties are work for Old Vampires.

Few of the questions I am asked, especially as the night grows old, are pertinent. Of the ones that are pertinent, the querent needs to ask but would not dare to write a letter.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

12
Oct
16

Nosferatu


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I have had to teach the New Vampire representative, Nosferatu, a lesson he will not forget in a hurry. Pity the bruises will soon fade.

I had a telephone call two nights ago from Michelle, who is doing my old job in the prison.

It seems Nosferatu walked into the Education Department she works in and started ordering her around.

Of course, she refused to follow any of his orders; this resulted in uproar in the Department and Michelle being called in by her human bosses and given a telling off.

Naturally, she was most upset about all this and unable to do anything about this situation as she was worried it would incur my wrath and that of the Kings’ Men, which was quite proper.

First, I reassured her that she had done the correct thing, especially as she could not let Nosferatu walk all over her.

I also reassured her that Nosferatu was acting completely outside his remit as New Vampire Representative and thus he was liable for what he had done.

I added that I would deal with him personally. This achieved several things : it makes Michelle an ally, gives me great personal satisfaction and reminds the prison that while I am, to all extents and purposes gone, they should not forget me.

After teaching Nosferatu a lesson and him shrieking that I would not hear the last of it I marched him to Michelle to apologise for what he had done in private. I would have liked a public apology, but that would have been a step too far.

I talked to Michelle’s employers after Nosferatu had withdrawn what he had done and affirmed that while he was important (I nearly choked on this) he was not responsible in any way, shape or form for Michelle and the only people she is beholden to are themselves and myself.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

05
Oct
16

Talk


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I have had a little talk with Michelle, who is taking over my former job at the prison, which left her properly chastened.

We agree on the fact that my former colleagues at the prison should be killed, but I cannot have her reverting to her old behaviour of killing humans who will be missed.

I am sure The Ruler’s Men will have said something to her, but it is right and proper to let her know that if it happens, I will not let her get away with such behaviour.

I also introduced her to Columbine, my New Vampire contact in the prison. We share similar views on Columbine : as much as I deplore Michelle, she is an Old Vampire.

I will continue to visit Columbine. After all, she may part with some valuable information for the small price of half an hour spent with her.

Other Old Vampires would opine that no information any New Vampire gives away has any value, but with my lack of money I must snatch at any crumbs which may come my way.

I have also had to teach Michelle how to use a computer. Old Vampires do not use computers, so you must first teach her how to switch the computer on and such basic things that any human child knows.

She is not lacking in intelligence and took to it well. I have given her my telephone number and my email address (which has mainly been unused so far) for any queries as we cannot have her asking the humans for help, especially my ex-colleagues.

I have instructed Michelle in her new duties. As well as administrative support she is tasked with delivering blood to the Old Vampires residing in the prison and talking to them.

Of course, that did not go down well with her as Old Vampire prisoners are criminals. She now understands why she has been given the job she will do.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

24
Aug
16

Working with Humans


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

Working with humans is absolutely vile.  They find ways to shirk duties and disappear off ostensibly on business, but in reality they waste time talking to friends.

Meanwhile, I am left doing all the drudge tasks at work.  I am here to do my job and end up doing the filing.

It is a good thing there are other Old Vampires to talk to, which unlike what the humans do, is part of my duties.

Old Vampires who are in prison cannot socialise with human prisoners.

If a fight broke out, an Old Vampire is stronger than a human and could easily kill, by accident or design.

If it was self defence, the Old Vampire would not be blamed, but it would take some explaining.

Also Old Vampires do not want to socialise with human criminals, as we see all criminals as beneath us.  If an Old Vampire prisoner did not talk to anyone they would go mad.

Part of the problem in my work is that the humans do not wish to talk to me and I do not wish to talk to the humans.

So I do my duties in silence, listening out for any information that could be useful to me.

Often it is, especially if I am around the corner doing filing.  Old Vampires’ ears hear much better than humans’ do, so it is not difficult to know everything that goes on in the department that I am in.

This is how I survive.  By listening to talk and dropping a word in the ears of those I work for from time to time.

If I did not, they would oust me from my place and ask for another Old Vampire to work at this prison.

I would be happy to give up work, but I need the money, which is how I came to be asked politely by The Ruler’s Men to take up this position in the first place.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide




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