Archive for the 'Jeremy' Category

31
Mar
17

Jeremy


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

Jeremy

It has come to my attention that Jeremy had drink poured over him at a very prestigious party by a mere footman.

This was, of course, an accident, but as the night got older the accidents went on.

A servant carving meat accidentally cut his clothing; his glass was dropped just before his hand reached it and mud was kicked over him.

Jeremy was furious and complained to the Old Vampires who were giving the party and demanded satisfaction.

They summoned their butler and asked him to account for such goings-on, whereas the butler informed them that Jeremy had dragged a Servant into his divorce and she had to summon the Human Police as she could not be expected to deal with an Old Vampire, especially not on her own.

It is not the done thing to involve Servants in our affairs except if they are buying information for us. So his hosts immediately said that what had happened to Jeremy must have been accidents.

I had been keeping that incident quiet as I had hoped to sell the information on or use it to profit in the divorce, whichever was better. Now it has lost its currency.

Jeremy was furious. He shouted and swore at his hosts and shortly found himself outside the grounds of the castle.

I have heard that his invitations to parties and events have dried up as such behaviour in Old Vampire society is not to be tolerated.

Since this event I have had less censure and derision to deal with as public opinion is swinging in my favour.

Society will now wait and see what The Judge rules in my divorce and then decide that they agreed with the ruling all along.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

02
Mar
17

Fallout


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

People have heard that I am divorcing Jeremy.

The reaction mainly falls into two camps : the first are those who tell me that I am so brave to do this and invite me to their parties for the entertainment I can give.

The second are those who condemn me for not being a “proper vampire” or a “good wife” and cross the street when they see me.

I have never aspired to be a good wife and I ask the men telling me this if they are good husbands. Then they fluster and splutter and make excuses.

As usual, it is more difficult dealing with the condemnation of the women. I have had to hold my head up under scorn and censure.

Adele helps with some of it, as my worth as an Obligatee will diminish if I do not come out of this well.

Henry, who is hearing this case, tells me to ignore them. He is dining out on this case and will make much capital out of it whatever is decided. He does not have face any detractors and is enjoying himself to the full.

To say Jeremy is unhappy is an understatement. He turned up at my house shouting and swearing at my poor servant Jane.

She did not know what to do and I was unavailable, so she called the Human Representative on the Committee, who is also a Policeman. With the threat of arrest hanging over Jeremy he was forced to retreat and I now owe Andy a considerable favour.

This behaviour will not look good to a Judge, as we do not involve Servants in our affairs.

Unfortunately Jane has come under scrutiny because of this incident and my divorce.

Fortunately senior servants have decided that she cannot be held responsible for her employers’ whims and peccadillos (their words!) and upheld her conduct. Apparently they are revising their Code of Conduct because of this incident.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

16
Feb
17

Initiating Proceedings


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

Initiating Proceedings

I have initiated divorce proceedings today so I can divorce Jeremy. It has taken me a while to research Old Vampire Judges so I can have someone who will hear my case.

A Judge is one of the few respectable professions in Old Vampire society, as we need people who can step in when a fence has finished and one of the parties involved is not happy with the result. People killing one another means less revenue for The Ruler.

The unhappy party can take his or her case before the Judge, who will hear from both parties and pronounce the finding, which will inform both parties what is needed to be done, or if nothing is to be done, then the judge will say that one or other party was “in the right”, which means correct in what they did.

All parties have to abide by the Judge’s finding and take the matter no further. I have never heard of an Old Vampire who did take the matter further. If they did, the Judge would be within their rights to kill them.

Every Old Vampire Judge will be chomping at the bit to hear this case as it is breaking new ground, so I had to be very careful who I chose as they would all say they were the correct person to hear the case.

Everyone including The Judges will think it is a great scandal. The Judges will not care as long as they are the one to hear it.

Unfortunately this means that the unchosen Judges will be enemies of mine and I do not have the means to convince them otherwise.

The Judge I chose is Henry Mortimer. He has a record of hearing “unusual” cases and nearly all of the parties heard by him report satisfaction with the judgement.

We have set a date for a hearing and he is going to contact Jeremy. Jeremy will not be happy, but he will have to abide by the judge’s ruling. If he does not turn up he will forfeit all.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

02
Feb
17

Irritation


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I find my servant Jane irritating at times, but not as much as I did my husband, who irritated me so much that I could have screamed at him.

Jane’s drink preferences and singing are all that irritates me about her and the odd irritation from a good servant must be endured, although I have put an embargo on all Christmas music until December begins.

Jane has started singing the latest songs from the hit parade instead, which I cannot say is much of an improvement.

My husband irritated me by locking himself in his study and did not communicate what he was doing or whom he was writing letters to.

I had to wait and find out the consequences of his actions, never dreaming that he would choose to walk away from all he had to “find himself”.

This itself irritates me beyond belief as in the first case, it is ridiculous for an Old Vampire to do.

It would not be beneath a New Vampire to ape humans like this, which they are wont to do.

In the second case, I was left to pick up the pieces and pay all his debts.

I had been treated as the little woman in this marriage for all of my life, not allowed to know what was going on and having to be content to sit and entertain guests.

It more than irritates me that he expected to come back and find everything as before with card decks out on green tables.

I, who have always gambled have not even picked up a deck of cards for years. Jane aids me in scrupulously keeping the house free of such things.

I am gradually building up investments and a portfolio, so I can return to owning a castle and having more than one servant.

I have my own life now; even though it is not the life an Old Vampire should have, it is mine.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

25
Jan
17

Initiating Divorce


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I have thought long and hard about the situation with my husband and have decided to divorce Jeremy.

This is a decision that will scandalise all Old Vampires. The result of it will be that some will invite me to their parties for entertainment, while some will stop invitations due to my divorce.

I have lived for twenty eight years without him. Some of the mistakes I have made I would not have made with him there; I daresay I would have made others had I been with him.

I have carved out a life without him and found independence that I find hard to give up.

If I acknowledge him as my husband I will have to find a place in my house for him.

I do not want that. I have lived in my small house, made it mine and now to share it with someone other than a servant is unbearable.

I will never know the whys or wherefores of his actions, which irritate me, and had done for a long time before he left.

He will be tramping around the house at odd hours; either that or locking himself inside his study.

I confess that when he last disappeared I was hoping the mobs had got him so I would be free, but he turned up a century later in Norway.

This will not be an easy process to do. It will be easy to start things off as any Old Vampire Judge will be champing at the bit to be the first to hear the case.

The Judge I choose will certainly not dissuade me from my course of action.

Neither myself nor Jeremy will come out of it well and I am sure my Status will diminish, but at the end of it I will be my own woman for the first time in my life.

This is why I became an Old Vampire, but instead I chose one set of fetters over another.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

12
Jan
17

Work and Play


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I have been absent from this blog for too long and have recently been reminded about my writing duties.

I have, of course, been partying and enjoying the season without having to get up in the daytime to go to w.o.r.k. and have found it even more enjoyable now I can sleep after the parties.

Since I no longer work in the daytime I have more invitations to parties and am able to accept more. For an Old Vampire there is no such thing as accepting too many invitations.

So the blood flowed and I talked to allies and enemies alike and bought and sold information.

I felt like an Old Vampire again for the first time in a long time, although I did have to put down a few jabs about living in a semi-detached house. Some of those were from Jeremy. Since he is my husband I was obliged to offer to take him with me to all invitations I had accepted, which is something that irked me greatly.

Let me reassure some of you that I have been in to the office to process paperwork and deal with any messages left for me, but an Old Vampire always works at parties and I got a lot of work done.

Few messages were left for me at my office when people could stop me at a party and ask.

Most of what I deal with are trivial queries which can be answered in a minute. If the querent asks me face to face it does not require any paperwork on my part.

Few matters require much time and attention, but the position of Old Vampire Representative on The Committee needs to be filled for such as those and to liaise with other representatives, which keeps we undead hidden from humans, who would rise up and kill us if they knew we existed and how many of them we kill.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

16
Nov
16

Return


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

My husband Jeremy has turned up, which surprised me greatly.

It seems it took him a while to find out where I live, as he went to our former home.

He was much surprised to find another Old Vampire in residence, who thankfully telephoned me to warn of his arrival.

He was unhappy that I was no longer living in a castle and we had words as to the standard of living I now have. I had words with him as to his debts which I had to clear and which were partly responsible for our castle being sold.

It seems he walked away “to find himself”. I really don’t know why he had to do this. We are Old Vampires. That is the beginning and the end of it. “Finding oneself” is for humans.

It seems he no longer wishes to associate with me. I am happy with this as for the last decade or so I have given little thought to him or his whereabouts.

Oh, I tried to trace him to no avail when he first went missing. Then I had to settle his debts, I lost the castle because of my gambling addiction and had to take w.o.r.k. and move into my present accommodation, a detached house in Portsmouth.

I was too busy to give thought to what had happened to him. Old Vampires have disappeared and reappeared for centuries, although the practice seems to be dying out with the lack of mobs.

Now of all times he turns up, having enjoyed himself thoroughly in India. It seems he was in one of the more inaccessible areas of India, living off the local populace.

After our argument he stormed off to find allies to stay with. Unfortunately because my stock is lowered with having to w.o.r.k. people will not be so accommodating, as what an Old Vampire wife does reflects on her husband and her husband’s Status and vice versa.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide




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