26
Jan
15

Cool


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

We Old Vampires are not cool. We leave that sort of pretentiousness to New Vampires, who swan around in black clothes and dark glasses.

Wearing shades in the evening is never cool, but still they try. If you see someone wearing shades, it is a good bet they are a New Vampire.

We pre-date “cool” and humans would think that we are unfashionably stylish and debonair.

Unlike New Vampires we have class. We have style. We also have money, which helps with style.

It is possible to have little or no money and have style, but it is much more difficult, especially as you are unable to hire a tailor.

Neither sex would consider wearing jeans. Our women always wear dresses while both sexes are dressed formally. I wear a suit at work and am deemed an anomaly. I do not care.

You think we are cool because we are beautiful and fast and strong; things you aspire to be.

It’s better to be cunning and clever and wise. Strength and beauty in humans are ephemera which fade and die quickly with age, which is why you are said to be “over the hill” when you are past the age of forty.

Cunning, cleverness and wisdom last until dotage and drooling and will help you evade us better than the former.

The word “cool” would never enter an Old Vampire’s lexicon, as we would scorn the concept if Old Vampires knew about it.

We would instead describe ourselves as “dashing” and say of other Old Vampires that they “cut a fine figure” which means that they look good.

Dashing infers that we are doing things and being things, while cool means that we lean back and do nothing, just like New Vampires.

We leave the posing to the New Vampires. We have no need to affect airs, for we know who we are.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

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