20
Oct
14

The Barton Scale


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

At work they are implementing something called the Barton scale for sick pay.

This tracks periods of sickness which someone has taken as long as that period is less than five days.

It is supposed to reduce sick, but it will increase it instead.  Any human can sign themselves off sick for a week, so someone who is malingering will go off sick for a whole week, instead of one or two days.

Also, some humans have periods of sickness which are five days, but do not have many periods of sickness which are less than five days.

These humans will have to take some short-term sickness, or their bosses will start to think they are malingering and increasing their sick periods so they do not show up on this scale.

If it was left to we Old Vampires, we would simply look at our employees’ sick records (vampires do not fall sick) and talk to the ones who have taken a lot of sick leave.

We would check if they wanted to leave and if they did, work out a deal with them as it is no use having a disgruntled employee working for you.

Instead of which, we have humans falsifying records as you can be sacked under this Barton scale.

If there is a lot of sick leave then the problems lie with the employer and by sacking people it means that the real problems are not addressed.

With our Old Vampire Servants we would examine the amount of time our Servants are taking out of the castle.

We (or our butler) may be sending them on perfectly legitimate errands.  For example, some of the lower ranks of servants would collect firewood or be sent to buy food.

On the other hand, they may be taking longer at the task than they should, or making side trips that we did not authorise.  We would soon have dealt with the problem.

Glossary
Bonded Wedding : Old Vampire marriage for political reasons
Common Status : the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire
Debutante Vampires : before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.
The Committee : see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity
The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity : a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans
Fence : an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing
The Hunters : see Vampire Hunters
Negatives : Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.
New Vampires : vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.
Notice : the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative
Obligation : when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say
Old Vampires : vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.
Parent : the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society
The Ruler’s Men : people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks
Shun : a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release
Sire : the vampire who made you a vampire
Status : a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands
Status Keeper : the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points
Thousands : Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points
Vampire Hunters : New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes
Vampire Servants : servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve
Walk into the sun : a euphemism for suicide

Advertisements

0 Responses to “The Barton Scale”



  1. Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


Lonely Blogs

lonelyblogs.com blog directory

%d bloggers like this: