25
Jun
14

Speeding Tickets


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

At the last Committee meeting I was forced to endure a report on increasing numbers of speeding tickets given to Old Vampires, the number of which will increase in proportion with our fascination with cars.

What the Human Police Representative cannot appreciate is that a safe speed is different for different Old Vampires.

It’s not as if we hurt anyone as our reactions enable us to drive at higher speeds than humans.

An Old Vampire would never drive at an unsafe speed because if they killed or injured a human they would end up in prison and when they got out no-one would want to know them.

The Human Police Representative is annoyed that we are obeying the law and are able to do what we please. This is the point of having money and power; otherwise no-one would bother accumulating them.

We have the money to make points on our licences go away and pay the fines. As long as our speed is not over 100 m.p.h. we will not face court.

I have been to a party where a private track was hired out and Old Vampires had fun seeing how fast they could drive. Several motorcars were destroyed at this party.

Another party game was trying to drive through a set of traffic cones at increasing speeds. I was one of the first to be literally knocked out.

We all used the same make and model of car. It was a Golf, which is too middle-class for Old Vampires, but good enough to crash.

It was a very high-profile party and the brand-new cars were handsomely supplied by the hosts. They were so new that they did not have licence plates.

The need for taking risks seems to be built into all of us Old Vampires. Some gamble, while all of us love speed and play the stock market.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

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