31
Mar
14

Insults


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

Calling a vampire of any sort undead is an insult we do not tolerate.

The current Police Representative on The Committee only tried it once. I had my fingers around his throat before he even tried to sit back in his chair, which Nosferatu, the New Vampire Representative had kicked out from under him.

Nosferatu was all for me drinking him, but I had worked among humans for a few years by then and realised that he did not know what he was saying.

So I let him off with an admonition, an explanation and a good kick in the testicles. It did not hit anything important.

The worst insult you can call a werewolf is a dog. The Police Representative tried that and spent three months in hospital for his pains.

His employer tried telling us that he should not be treated this way, but we told him there was no law against it and he had insulted her.

I added that maybe if I’d kicked him somewhere important he wouldn’t have ended up in hospital. We all agreed that he should address us with better manners in future.

We do not know what he was trying to achieve, but whatever it was, he will not achieve it with vampires by using bad manners.

Werewolves prize good manners as well and made it clear they were not impressed by the actions of the Human Police.

I asked his employer to make it clear to him that insulting vampires would end with his death and I would cover it up.

His employer blustered and complained to me but to us police are just another type of human.

They are the ones who lay down the laws, but we see human laws as inconvenience at best and never to be obeyed at worst. Most of us obey only if they’re convenient.

Glossary
Bonded Wedding : Old Vampire marriage for political reasons
Common Status : the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire
Debutante Vampires : before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society. They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes. They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.
The Committee : see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity
The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity : a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans
Fence : an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing
The Hunters : see Vampire Hunters
Negatives:  Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.
New Vampires : vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs. This started after Dracula came out.
Notice : the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative
Obligation : when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say
Old Vampires : vampires who are polite society. Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.
Parent : the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society
The Ruler’s Men : people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks
Shun : a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release
Sire : the vampire who made you a vampire
Status : a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status. See Negatives and Thousands
Status Keeper : the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points
Thousands : Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points
Vampire Hunters : New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes
Vampire Servants : servants who are vampires themselves. Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve
Walk into the sun : a euphemism for suicide

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