New Database


In my day job at the prison, things are going from bad to worse.  The boss has devised a new database behind my back and told me I must use it.

Of course, the database is fit only for a deranged monkey high on cocaine to use, but it’s no use telling her that it doesn’t work.

A human would disobey her in some fashion, but I am an Old Vampire, so I must use the database.

To be an Old Vampire, I must do my job to the very best standard that I can, which is more than I can say for some of my human colleagues.

However, I will drop comments about various features of it here and there and hope she will take notice, but I do not have her ear and my colleagues who do will not be using the database.

Worst of all, this database is a spreadsheet.  She pins the reliability of it on filters, which I have found to sometimes fail and sometimes work.

Of course, I have told her about this, but since she’s a manager she thinks that she knows best and has shrugged off my condemnation of her “database”.

We listen to our servants and take what they say seriously.  Why is it so hard for humans to listen to their employees and take them seriously?

I may have to knock my human “managers” out or show my fangs to them to scare them into submission; something that is only done as a last resort.

This state of affairs at work is intolerable to me.  I would walk out and be useless to Adele as an Obligatee, which I do not get paid for, but I need the money to get my castle back and jobs are still scarce.

So I hang on to my job whilst screaming inside at the futility of it all and the uselessness of our managers.

These human managers do not value anything except their own pay packets.


Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide


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