09
Sep
13

Bad Weekend


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

I have just had the weekend from hell.  What is worse, I knew it was going to be like this.

It was a weekend spent at the castle of Aethelric’s employers.  I knew that they and Aethelric would be unhappy that he was not presenting the petition.

They had invited me for the weekend to discuss the disposition of Old Vampire servants whose employers have been taken by The Hunters.

Since resettling Old Vampire Servants is part of my duties they knew well I could not help but attend.

So what went wrong?  For a start, my coffin was too hot. The lining of the coffin was torn and dirty and there were a number of hard objects which had to be thrown out of it.

I complained but my hosts muttered something about problems with the heating and changed the subject.

I was given substandard fare to drink and when we went hunting someone placed a blackthorn thorn under my saddle, forgetting that it was a common trick when I became a vampire, with the result that my horse threw me into the mud.  Of course, my hosts were most solicitous while hiding their smiles well.

After several excruciating hours which I was made to spend in wet and muddy clothes I arrived back at the castle to find that my clothes had been improperly hung up.

This was the last straw and I stood up to say I was leaving.  I was told to sit down as they hadn’t found the time to discuss the disposition of Old Vampire servants.

I walked out after telling them that I had noticed they had a telephone and could call me and discuss the matter with me or they could drop by my offices.  Neither of those is the done thing in Old Vampire society, but I am an Old Vampire, not a servant at their beck and call.

Glossary

Bonded Wedding Old Vampire marriage for political reasons

Common Status the point at where an Old Vampire becomes a real Vampire

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.  They are the only Old Vampires who have a zero level of Status and are acceptable.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

Fence an Old Vampire fight in which they fight to the first blood using fencing

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

Negatives Old Vampires with zero or negative points of Status.

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Notice the Status Keeper serves a Notice on an Old Vampire whose Status has reduced to zero that they are in danger of becoming a Negative

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

The Ruler’s Men people employed by The Ruler to do anything she or he asks

Shun a vampire who has committed a sex crime is shunned on their release

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Status a ranking system which denotes whether you are an acceptable member of Old Vampire society, which is if you have plus points of status.  See Negatives and Thousands

Status Keeper the Old Vampire in charge of the Status points

Thousands Old Vampires whose Status is over a hundred points

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

Walk into the sun a euphemism for suicide

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