08
Apr
11

Sex


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTION OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

Why is it always fantastic sex you read about?  If you watch the television you always see these writhing bodies supposedly having the time of their lives.

The media don’t represent the experiences that normal people have.  Yes, sometimes sex is fantastic.  But more often it’s good, sometimes it’s okay and sometimes unfortunately it’s disastrously bad.

Of course, this all depends on yourself and the partner you have, as some people are better at sex than others.

Celebrities’ sex lives are, I should imagine, the same.  When someone is doing a kiss-and-tell the newspaper always say they have fantastic sex with celebrities so the celebrity won’t sue.

If you read the human magazines, there is so much pressure to have a good sex life.  Apparently, if you’re not having a quadruple orgasm or something, it’s not good sex.  What utter rubbish.

Unfortunately this has spilled over into the vampire community, with vampires talking about sex a lot of the time.

Sometimes what you humans do is pathetic.  I remember when it was the 19th century and any woman couldn’t mention sex for fear of shocking the neighbours, whereas death was freely talked about.

Now sex is everywhere and you can’t mention death for fear of putting a foot wrong.

This does aid vampires, in that the method of dying is not talked about openly, thus perpetuating the myth that vampires don’t exist.

Human morality shifts so quickly, with what we’re supposed to say or do in order to keep up the appearance of a polite member of human society often changing from one decade to another.

I often have trouble keeping up with changes.

Glossary

Debutante Vampires before Dracula came out, vampires who had been newly turned vampire were taught the rules of society.  They then “came out” when they were deemed presentable to vampire society as debutantes.

The Committee see The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity

The Committee to Regulate Non-Human Activity a committee that meets monthly and talks about affairs to do with werewolves, vampires and humans

The Hunters see Vampire Hunters

New Vampires vampires who do not want to be Old Vampires, often live as Goths and hold down jobs.  This started after Dracula came out.

Obligation when one vampire is under an obligation from another s/he has to do as they say

Old Vampires vampires who are polite society.  Either turned vampire before Dracula came out or were turned after by an Old Vampire and decided to join the Old Vampires.

Parent the vampire who brought you up (if you are an Old Vampire) in polite society

Sire the vampire who made you a vampire

Vampire Hunters New vampires who hunt down those vampires who have committed crimes

Vampire Servants servants who are vampires themselves.  Mostly Old Vampires, one of their functions is to repeat information and gossip to the Old Vampires they serve

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