08
May
10

Old and New Vampires


*** DISCLAIMER – THIS BLOG IS FICTION AND THE AUTHOR IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE ACTION OF ANYONE WHO PERSISTS IN THINKING IT IS NOT FICTION ***

It is with great shame that I have to ask you to put down your glasses of blood as you read this next statement : I have to work.

Yes, you heard me; I have to go out of the house and earn a wage to live.  One of the things that distinguishes us Old Vampires from the New Vampires is that we don’t work.

An Old Vampire has lived for centuries, hoarded and saved money carefully.  Not only that, him or her will have kept some artefacts from centuries ago that they can auction or sell if the need arises.

A New Vampire will spend money as it comes and not even have a bank account or house to call their own, of which we Old Vampires find both conditions utterly disgusting.

While an Old Vampire will have – let us say – connections, a New Vampire will usually not have the connections to change information held on them.

So a bank account is an unnecessary tie for New Vampires.  And anyone who robs a New Vampire is briefly found and then never seen again.

It’s bad form to let The Humans get away with robbing us and New Vampires are still vampires at heart, even if they do hang around with the criminal element of The Humans.

Getting back to this shameful work.  I work as an Administrator in a prison, having lost all my money.

George Bernard Shaw famously said “if you can’t do, you teach”.  Today’s maxim should be “if you can’t do, you do admin”.

Admin has all the drudgery of a servant.  The same tasks are done over and over and over again while you achieve nothing.  Instead of pushing a mop you are pushing paper.

No one sets out in life to become an administrator.  It’s something you do to mark time until something better comes along.

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